It’s not a super rare occurrence to head out to the supermarket and end up picking up a few succulents or a mini rubber plant to spruce up the house.
It seems that for parenting blogger Sarah Kearns, this obsession with buying plants has spiralled a little out of control.
Her husband Brad – who posts blogs alongside her as part of DaDMuM – posted a hilarious set of rants on Facebook this week, after she brought home a pair of ‘Jurassic size’ palm trees.
In the posts, which have now gone viral, Brad says, ‘Does anyone else’ wife have an issue with getting plants that are a REASONABLE F*CKING SIZE for the house???’
Sharing a picture of the towering plants beside his bed, you can see just how gargantuan they are next to him.
Continuing the post, Brad said: ‘I should have known when she asked me to “help lift the plants up the stairs”. I opened the front door to not one but two f*cking Jurassic sized trees. She said they were for our bedroom…
‘So yep while y’all sleep peacefully in your warm beds tonight apparently these plants are the only reason I can even “breathe fresh air” in my house. It’s getting ridiculous. That’s a king sized bed and I’m not even that small.
‘Not a f*cking plant lady… probably has birds in it.
‘I swear to f*ck one of these leaves tickles my face and I’ll burn it. F*ck my life.’
The expletive-laden post tickled people, and has now garnered over 19,000 likes and 1,900 shares.
The laughs didn’t end there, though.
In a second post, Brad detailed how – after comments from their followers about spiders – Sarah couldn’t bear to keep them in the house, which left him with the task of putting them outside.
‘I posted about it online and people talked about spiders coming out of them in our sleep and at 11:00pm she decided she couldn’t sleep and “we” needed to move them outside and call the pest man due to the new found safety risk to “us”.
‘She make choices like a gambler with a pocket full of mortgage payments.
‘I legitimately thought she was joking. Coz you know… there’s spiders outside that would go into them and make it their home.
‘Well ladies and gentlemen. It was a hard-fought argument on my end. And on that note I present to you, my f*cking balconforest.’
Given they’re based in Australia, they might be on to something about the spiders.
But this whole mess is way too relatable for those of us who are obsessed with houseplants. It truly is an addiction (and one our partners just need to put up with).
Do you have a funny story to share?
Get in touch at MetroLifestyleTeam@metro.co.uk.
MORE: What do you talk about when you’ve run out of things to say?
MORE: Grandma, 63, photographed 40 years apart looks incredible in both photos
source https://metro.co.uk/2020/05/12/dads-hilarious-facebook-rant-shows-what-life-like-plant-obsessed-partner-12691901/
0 Comments