It’s not every day you get to sleep at the top of Blackpool Tower, but since I started the morning by breaking out of prison – I knew this was hardly going to be a normal day.
See, I was on the run.
Not from the police, but from a team of expert hunters whose sole mission for the next two weeks was to catch me and nine other fugitives as part of the TV show, Celebrity Hunted.
Using the powers of the state, they would contact my friends and family, trace my phone, bank accounts, and social media to try and trace my every move.
I’ve been a fan of Hunted for years. I used to get told off for watching it at work when I should have been, well, working.
I’d often fantasised about the different ways I would disappear – never to be seen again.
So, when I was asked to take part in the show with my fiance, Nikesh Patel, I was ready to burn my fingerprints off and invest in several burner phones to get right into character.
I bought one so small that it could fit in a match box. I was told that it was a perfect prison phone as it could be hidden in ‘any orifice’. As a fugitive, you have to be prepared for any scenario but, luckily, we weren’t subjected to a cavity search.
Celeb Hunted is not only one of television’s greatest feats, it’s also a show that raises vital funds for Cancer Research. Each fugitive that takes part in the show donates their fee to Stand Up to Cancer and embarks on a two-week journey of a lifetime.
A journey where anything could happen.
For me, I was hit with challenges before I’d even begun. Though I was due to go on the run with my other half, Nikesh, he was sadly struck down by Covid the day before the jailbreak. So I had to go it alone for the first five days, at which point we were reunited.
Armed with nothing but a grey tracksuit and pair of white plimsolls, I ran from two helicopters circling above me.
Despite knowing that this was all for a TV show and I hadn’t actually committed a crime – it felt very, very real.
Hardly a minute passed when a car stopped to ask if I needed help. The popularity of the show can be both a blessing and a curse for fugitives, as members of the public can either choose to become your associates, or choose to dob you into the Hunters.
The generosity and kindness of strangers astounded us
Luckily for me, every single person I met along the way did all they could to help. Once people knew we were raising money for such an important cause, their enthusiasm knew no bounds.
One lady and her daughter picked Nikesh and I up from a service station car park and offered to let us sleep at her mum’s. Her mum didn’t so much as raise an eyebrow that she was harbouring two fugitives, but instead offered us some tea and cake.
Another girl – a fitness instructor who was about to teach a gym class – cancelled her clients in favour of driving us all the way from Chester to Birmingham with her pal.
The generosity and kindness of strangers astounded us – as did their willingness to aid and abet. So much so that our catchphrase on the run became ‘people are good’.
We would chant those three words under our breath when approaching a coach driver to take us to Coventry, or an army squadron to give us a lift, as if to manifest a positive outcome.
Even though the army squadron couldn’t drive us anywhere, they did get us a McDonald’s apple pie, which was just as useful.
I was moved to tears when a man – who was initially hesitant to help us out until I explained what we were up to, and who we were doing it for – opened up about his own cancer diagnosis, treatment and thankfully his remission.
He offered to smuggle us in his boat across the Lake District. Legend.
After all of the planning, prep and panic, it was the burner phone that brought me to my demise on day seven. My location was traced during a call for a taxi, and I approached a Hunter’s car thinking it was my ride.
Nikesh, however, managed to escape. It’s not often a woman can say she’s proud of her other half for running in the opposite direction while she’s being chased by a stranger, but Hunted will do that to you.
My time on the run was over, and as much as I was gutted, I was also grateful for having had the opportunity to be chased by the Hunters.
I wish I was able to thank each of the people who helped us on our journey, but when it was my time for my inevitable capture, those pesky hunters confiscated my contact list.
If you or someone you know remembers helping out a particularly frantic couple last summer – I want to thank you.
I realise that being the first to get caught means I am now to be subjected to a lifetime of drunk men in pubs telling me how they would have done it better and would never get caught.
I tell them I’ll listen, but only if I watch them give a donation to Stand Up to Cancer first. People are good, after all.
Do you have a story you’d like to share? Get in touch by emailing jess.austin@metro.co.uk.
Share your views in the comments below.
MORE : ‘Gunman’ hunted by police was just someone dressed as Star Wars character
MORE : James Acaster and Ed Gamble enjoy sit-down meal and cocktails while on the run in Celebrity Hunted
0 Comments