Okay, so we’ve learned to stop ending our emails with ‘warm regards’ and that a message with ‘as per my last email’ will get you a load of hate.
But what are the phrases we should scrap from the workplace entirely? What workplace jargon is irritating the masses and making us a major source of annoyance in the office?
We seriously need to stop saying ‘touch base’, according to a Premier Inn survey of 2,000 UK adults.
The survey asked people to vote for the most annoying bits of office jargon around, and found that a lot of clichés are enraging your fellow coworkers.
Let’s look at that list of the phrases to avoid, in order from most hated to, well, less hated, but still not liked.
The most hated workplace phrases:
- Touch base
- No-brainer
- Outside the box
- Going the extra mile
- Blue sky thinking
- Game-changer
- Brainstorm
- Ping an email
- E-meet you
- Thought shower
- Ducks in a row
- On my radar
- Low hanging fruit
- Park that
- Stick a pin in it
- Get the ball rolling
- Paradigm shift
- Out of the loop
- Off-piste
- Moving forward
- Window of opportunity
- Drill down
- Put it on ice
- Comfort zone
- Deliverables
- Take that offline
- Ideation
- Move the needle
- Reach out
- Circle back
- Actionable
- Break out
- Take outs
We know what you’re thinking: But, internet person, please, what am I supposed to say if we really do need to touch base?
How do I describe something easy and obvious, if not by calling it a no-brainer?
If I cannot ‘ping’ an email, does it even get read?
Never fear, panicked worker.
The same bit of research has also offered some easy swaps for the ten most-hated phrases.
And even better, we’ve offered our own suggestions to add some spice to your workplace chat.
Instead of saying ‘touch base’, the research recommends saying ‘let’s make contact’ or ‘let’s check in with each other’. We’d suggest ‘see you later, baked potat-er’.
Swap ‘no-brainer’ for ‘obvious decision’ or ‘easily made decision’. Or go with our suggestion of ‘easy peasy give my cheeks a squeezy’. Professional!
Outside the box can be ‘think creatively’ or ‘you’re out of your damn mind’ or ‘no, no, no, no, stick to the stuff you know’.
‘Going the extra mile’? Say ‘to do more than is expected of you’ or ‘trying to get a raise and praise’.
Rather than ‘blue sky thinking’, say ‘no limits’ or ‘to the moon and beyond, but safely and only to planets where life is viable’.
‘Game-changer’ can be switched up to ‘a significant shift in the current way of doing/thinking’ or ‘it’s the re-re-re-mixxxxx!’. Again, handy office lingo that will surely earn the admiration of your managers and your peers.
A ‘thought shower’ or ‘brainstorm’ is just ‘a group discussion to produce ideas’. Or, as I like to say, ‘a violent eruption of creative flow’.
Don’t say ‘ping you an email’. Instead the research suggests ‘send you an email’. Or as we say, ‘expect a message anon, sweet prince’.
Ditch ‘e-meet’ in favour of ‘great to be introduced’ or ‘now I know your email and name I shall create a picture of you in my mind. You have a lustrous beard and the look of someone haunted by their regrets, I imagine’.
Soon you’ll be the best and most respected colleague around. Now, go nail that watercooler chat.
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source https://metro.co.uk/2020/02/05/hated-workplace-phrases-avoid-12188083/
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