When I was a kid, I used to receive a lot of Christmas presents.
My mum has six siblings, my father has two, and I was lucky enough to receive gifts from all of them. As I got older, most of them stopped giving me presents and I remember feeling cheated.
‘Misers,’ I thought. ‘Don’t they care about me anymore?’ It took me a while to realise that they simply couldn’t afford it. As I became an adult, it dawned on me that Christmas is really, really expensive.
Yet every year I give into the social pressure to buy everyone a really nice gift. I chase offers in stores and jostle for items during the Black Friday sale, all the while knowing the impact it will have on my bank balance.
There have been times where I haven’t been able to pay my bills or afford food because I’ve simply spent too much out of guilt, because I don’t want people to think I’m unsuccessful or a failure.
Even if I were to just give my most immediate family gifts, it would cost a lot. Then you have hosting on top of that, with the cost of groceries and decorations.
One particular year, the expense plunged me into such debt that it took me many months to recover from it.
That’s why, this year, I’ve decided to become a miser. At best, I’m buying my loved ones a few scented candles or some vegan chocolate.
I’m going to make an effort to see my parents, bake cookies, cook great food, play board games, take walks and genuinely spend some real quality time with everyone.
So often we are fed the capitalist idea that our love is measured in how much money we spend on each other, but I’m trying to reject that. You’re not a cheapskate or uncaring if you decide not to get yourself into debt over Christmas presents.
If you’re struggling to afford it all, just be upfront with the people around you. Many of them are probably feeling the same.
I actually believe my friends and family will feel relieved that I’m not splurging on them, as it means they won’t have to do the same.
There is so much pressure to buy presents at Christmas that it sometimes comes at the expense of whether the receiver will actually like their gift.
We all have returned, re-gifted and hidden presents that felt like after-thoughts, rather than things that we would actually appreciate. It’s enough to make anyone – children excluded – resent gifts in the first place.
So why put the pressure on people? Why don’t we just decide to spend more time together, instead of spending loads of money and feeling stressed out about it?
It’s pointless to buy people gifts if it’s going to cause financial problems – I would rather my friends and family had enough money to take care of themselves, than feel pressured to buy me something.
When I look back, I will treasure the memories and time spent with them – not the amazing perfume that my brother got me or the new phone that my mum bought me.
I’m not buying into this capitalist and materialistic guilt-trip anymore.
So don’t feel bad if you can’t afford gifts this Christmas. I know I won’t.
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source https://metro.co.uk/2019/12/18/i-couldnt-afford-food-because-i-bought-christmas-presents-out-of-guilt-11922816/
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