Christmas can be a difficult time of year for lot of us. There’s the pressure to socialise, financial pressures, family dramas.
But it’s especially hard for young people who have recently left the social care system, and find themselves isolated, away from family and having to look after themselves.
Young people who have recently come out of care are expected to be able to live without any parental support at a much earlier age than their peers.
To combat isolation at Christmas time, a charity is organising Christmas dinners around the country in locations including London, Leeds and Manchester, to provide a day of celebration for care leavers aged 16-25 on 25 December.
Those who attend will experience a festive feast, games and and Christmas entertainment, as well as a selection of presents and cards.
The Christmas Dinners initiative was set up by care leaver, poet and writer Lemn Sissay MBE, with the aim of giving the most vulnerable in society the Christmas Day and festive feeling that they otherwise wouldn’t have.
It’s now in it’s sixth year, and the people who come along say it’s one of the most important elements of their transition after being in care.
Jonny Hoyle is 34 and spent a large portion of his childhood in care. Care Leaver and Social Worker in North Yorkshire County Council’s Leaving Care Team.
‘My experience was overwhelmingly positive,’ Jonny tells Metro.co.uk. ‘I stayed with foster carers on an emergency one-night placement… and never left.
‘They became my family and continue to be my family. After a year, my brother came into care too and after another year of being in a separate foster placement, he came to live with us.’
But even with this positive experience, Jonny admits that being in care is still really hard for young people.
‘You spend a long time not sure where you belong, knowing that you’re different to your friends and having rules that other people don’t have,’ he says.
And leaving the care system can be an incredibly challenging transition.
‘One of the hardest parts for most young people who leave the care system are the same things that are hard for others, being responsible for paying your own bills, looking after yourself and dealing with the loneliness of living alone,’ says Jonny.
‘The key difference is that as a country we ask vulnerable care leavers to do this much earlier than other young people, and whilst Leaving Care Teams across the country do an amazing job, they can’t provide the same level of support that a mum or dad can.’
Christmas day is one of the most important days of the year for a lot of people in this country. It’s the one day that everything is closed and society expects you to spend the day with your family.
‘That’s OK if you have one, or if you have a good relationship with yours,’ says Jonny. ‘Most people take for granted that they will go to their mum’s, dad’s, brother’s or Grandparent’s for Christmas dinner, followed by some drinks and will have a nice day.
‘The reality for care leavers is that often this isn’t an option that’s open to them.
‘A young person earning minimal money usually can’t afford to buy and prepare their own Christmas dinner for one, and can’t rely on spending time with their family on Christmas day.
‘Sometimes, care leavers can cope with this by spending time with their friends, but on Christmas Day most friends are with their families.
‘Christmas can remind care leavers that they’re different, but it can amplify loneliness too.
‘Leaving Care teams work tirelessly to make sure care leavers have somewhere to go at Christmas, including buying gifts they can take if they are visiting distant relatives so that they don’t feel like they are imposing, but sadly, some will be alone on Christmas Day.’
This is why the Christmas Dinner Initiative is so important for people like Jonny, and the thousands of young people who are facing Christmas Day on their own.
‘Not only does it give young people a sense of belonging and community, but it also means that people who would otherwise be alone on the day will be together, and will feel together,’ says Jonny.
‘It’s really hard to organise and for people to juggle time with families and the time needed to organise prepare and deliver a large scale Christmas dinner on Christmas Day, but to the hundreds of volunteers who make it happen every year – I will be forever grateful.’
Jonny says that young people need a lot of support after they have left care.
They need help with the practical skills of living on their own, but also with the emotional side too.
‘Care leavers need to have the ability to make and maintain relationships because none of us really live independently,’ says Jonny.
‘The thing I’m most passionate about is that care leavers need to have the right opportunities at the right time.
‘Whether that is a university taking into account their care experience when they issue offers, or whether that is an employer taking the time to think why someone might have gone to five different secondary schools and recognising it’s not because they were naughty – but because they moved placements.
‘What we need to remember is that moving out is hard for the most skilled and resilient young people who have all of the support possible from their parents and families, so it is especially hard for young people who have had the toughest start in life.
‘As well as initiatives like the Christmas dinners, people can support the most vulnerable in society all year round by becoming social workers through programmes such as Frontline.’
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source https://metro.co.uk/2019/12/23/charity-organises-christmas-dinners-for-young-people-without-families-11932753/
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