Cheating is always messy, but this is a tangled affair indeed.
In the latest edition of the Sex Column, we hear from a man who’s been sleeping with his dad’s younger girlfriend — and to make matters worse, his oblivious father is completely smitten.
While the reader wants to break things off, the girlfriend is threatening to reveal their secret if he does, leaving him in a predicament.
Read the advice below, but before you go, don’t forget to check out last week’s column, from a woman whose husband is only affectionate in bed if he’s had a drink.
The problem…
I brought my problem on myself so I’m not asking for sympathy, just advice.
Basically, I’m having an affair with my dad’s 29-year-old girlfriend and it’s getting really messy because I want to end it and she doesn’t.
My mum died when I was still a child, and hats off to my father, he threw himself into bringing up us three kids (we are all in our 20s now) and never brought another woman into the house.
That all changed when we left home one by one and he found himself alone at 46. He’s a reasonable looking guy and it wasn’t long before he met this very attractive girl online and started a relationship with her.
I was pleased for dad, though she is nearer my age (22) than his, so I did think she was a bit young for him. Whatever, they seemed happy so I didn’t say anything.
They’ve now been together for two years and my dad is besotted. The trouble is that recently she’s been flirting with me whenever Dad isn’t around, and at a family party in August we ended up outside in a passionate clinch. Things got quite steamy that night and it wasn’t long before we started an affair.
Dad works away a lot, which has made it easy for us to meet up. Of course, I know it’s wrong but somehow, I just got caught up in the thrill of it and keep pushing the feelings of guilt to the back of my mind.
Now my dad has told us kids that he wants to marry her, and asked us what we all think. I was gobsmacked and told her straight away that our relationship had to end, but she got really upset and threatened to tell my father about us.
I feel like whatever I do, this is all going to end in disaster.
The advice…
There isn’t going to be an easy way out of this, but you have to tell your dad the truth. You can’t let him go ahead and marry someone who cheats on him like this.
It’s clear she doesn’t really love him and to blackmail you in this way is additional proof that she’s a nasty piece of work. What does she hope to gain?
As for you – your father gave up many years for you, and this is how you repay him? I know your background is sad and maybe there’s a more complicated explanation for your dreadful behaviour, but you have to confess and apologise.
Hopefully he will eventually forgive you, but in the meantime, he’ll be rightly furious and may not even speak to you for a while.
If you are close to either of your siblings, confide in them first. You’re going to need an ally and maybe someone to mediate in the future.
Whatever she threatens, give up this woman straight away and hope your dad kicks her to the kerb too. You never know, he may even thank you one day.
Laura is a counsellor and columnist.
Got a sex and dating dilemma? To get expert advice, send your problem to Laura.Collins@metro.co.uk.
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