Sun, sand, surf and sangria — away from the real world, a carefree, tropical holiday can be a breeding ground for romance.
Relaxed, and hair let well and truly down, what self-respecting singleton doesn’t relish a bit of summer loving?
Regardless of whether you’re 18 or 80, the appeal of a frisson with a stranger is the stuff of romcoms and Mills and Boon novels (or, at least, Love Island).
However, while there’s opportunity for adventure and excitement, there’s also the potential for heartache.
To ensure you stay on an even keel, Metro.co.uk asked the experts for their golden rules on how to have a little fun in the sun… without any tears.
Don’t make it the main goal
If finding a lover is the focus of your trip then you’re setting yourself up to fail before you’ve even begun.
‘Don’t have expectations,’ says relationship psychotherapist, Natajsa Wagner. ‘Holidays romances work best if they’re spontaneous. This means you can’t plan a perfect one. Go with the flow, be open to the possibility, but don’t force it.’
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Be upfront about what you’re after
Given the finite number of days you have, holiday romances aren’t about taking things slowly, they’re about having fun. Saying that, if you have a different idea about commitment and the like, it’s always good to be upfront from the get-go.
‘Being clear about the rules of engagement means you’re less likely to swim in murky waters, and more likely to be able to enjoy it for what it is,’ says relationship psychologist, Megan Tuohey.
Megan suggests being direct with your holiday beau. ‘You need to tell the other person that you have no expectations about it transitioning back into your regular life. That’s where you need to start the conversation,’ she says.
‘By having this conversation in advance, neither one of you will be surprised when it comes time to negotiate how your holiday romance unfolds, and reduces the likelihood of resentment and disappointment.’
Be wary of beer goggles
It’s an age-old drinking hazard: beer or (depending on your tipple) cocktail goggles.
When the drinks are flowing and there’s no wake-up time for work the next day, the temptation to indulge is high. But when you lock eyes with that sultry-looking girl or guy across the bar, proceed with caution.
‘Choose your holiday romance wisely,’ advises Natasjsa. ‘Preferably whilst you’re still capable of making a good decision – and that’s probably not after the tenth cocktail of the night!
‘Trust your gut with a potential partner and get your travel companions involved too – don’t be lax with any red flags just because you’re on holiday.’
Which brings us to our next point…
Be safe
While taking positive risks should be part and parcel of any trip, it’s important to be sensible and to play it safe.
‘Take precautions and always let your friends know where you are,’ says Natajsa. ‘Remember, until recently, this person was a complete stranger. Don’t do anything you’re not comfortable with, keep your wits about you, use protection, and use common sense.’
Take real life out of the equation
This is where being mindful comes into play. Live in the moment and try not to look into the future, which will avoid unnecessary emotional turmoil.
‘The essence of a holiday romance is about passion and heightened experiences beyond normality,’ says Megan. ‘Real life will return in it’s comforting predictable glory, but this holiday romance is one for your old age memory lane days.
‘Soak it up. The very best holiday romances are the ones that are richly enjoyed in the moment.’
Take time out
If you do feel yourself getting too emotionally attached, it might be time for some time out.
‘Holiday romances can feel intense and it’s easy to mistake that for intimacy,’ says relationship therapist, Julia Nowland. ‘If things are moving fast, take some time away and check how you feel about it all.’
You’ll need to also communicate this rain check with your romance. ‘Be honest with the other person and make sure that their eyes are wide open to what how you’re feeling – and what will happen at the end of the holiday – to manage both your and their expectations and to avoid disappointment.’
Don’t expect a happily ever after
While your head may be filled with fantasies of a white wedding as you big a teary farewell at the airport, when you’re back at your desk at work reality will soon set in.
Yes, there are those stories where holiday flings have worked out, but for every success there are countless failures.
‘Don’t try and maintain the fantasy,’ cautions Megan. ‘You won’t be able move on with your life. And when the holiday romance overflows into reality it can be icky.
‘The essence of a holiday romance is about passion, and heightened experiences beyond your normal everyday life. So don’t be afraid to thoroughly embrace the highs.
‘What we need to do is to have self-control and to realise that it is not real life. We need to recognise that you’re not chasing the person – you’re chasing these feelings. Chances are, you wouldn’t even fall for this person in your regular life.
‘Enjoy the experience and enjoy the memories.’
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