With a little Dutch courage, inhibitions are lowered and you might act in a way you otherwise wouldn’t.
That was the case for this reader, who got drunk on a night out with her best friend. But things took a turn when they ended up back at the friend’s house – and in bed with her boyfriend.
Despite having a great night of passion, she’s worried she’s ruined her relationship with her best friend. Should she apologise? Or hope the tension fades?
Before you go read last week’s dilemma, where a husband’s interfering mother-in-law is ruining his sex life.
The problem…
I think I might have lost my best friend after having a wild threesome with her and her boyfriend four weeks ago. She hasn’t contacted me since it happened, and I’m too embarrassed to get in touch with her.
The evening started well – it was her birthday and a group of us went out to a local bar and got wrecked. We had a great evening and I arranged to crash at her place.
She lives with her boyfriend, but he was already in bed by the time we got home, so we just cracked open another bottle and carried on the party.
I don’t know whose idea it was, but somehow we decided it would be fun to go into the bedroom and wake him up. He was very cool about it and made some remark about how great it was to have two gorgeous girls by his side. We were both being silly and flirtatious, and he was encouraging us to get in bed with him.
My friend was all for it, and it didn’t take long for us all to be stripped off having the time of our lives. I’ve never had sex with another woman before but the two of us really went for it, with him watching and occasionally joining in. Eventually we all flaked out exhausted, but I was the first one to wake up and crept out feeling a bit horrified at what I’d done.
We haven’t spoken since, and I really miss her. I desperately want to phone and apologise but every time I try to do it, something stops me.
Laura says…
You say you all had the time of your lives, so what is there to apologise for? Maybe it was a bit adventurous by your usual standards, but don’t beat yourself up over it.
Your friend might feel much like you, and one wild night shouldn’t damage a deep friendship. She and her partner may be dealing with their own stuff – after all, they’re a couple who are supposed to be faithful to one another. Maybe there are rows and recriminations between the two of them, and they haven’t even got round to thinking about your feelings.
Be brave and contact her; if you can’t face talking at first, then send a message. Just say how much you miss her and suggest meeting up soon.
Face to face, you can talk about how you both feel. You never know, she may even suggest a repeat performance, but whether you laugh or cringe about your crazy night, until you speak to one another, you’ll be none the wiser.
If she wants no more to do with you, the sad fact is that you guys weren’t as close as you imagined. It might be a difficult time but keep busy and socialise with people who really do value your friendship.
Right now, this episode feels fresh and uncomfortable, but put it down to experience. Whichever way it goes, it will soon be ancient history.
Laura is a counsellor and columnist.
Got a sex and dating dilemma? To get expert advice, send your problem to Laura.Collins@metro.co.uk.
source https://metro.co.uk/2024/02/10/a-threesome-best-friend-boyfriend-20242099/
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