Way back in the 1990s there was a previous attempt to make a Super Mario Bros movie.
It was a live-action adaptation starring the late Bob Hoskins as Mario and John Leguizamo as his brother, Luigi, and it was a notorious flop.
This has got to be better than that, right? Weeeeell, only just. Yet that won’t stop it outstripping the 1993 version’s lifetime global box office on its first day of release. Why?
Because even non-gamers *heart* Mario. The force of nostalgia is strong with this plucky little plumber with the humungous moustache, who eternally bounces on mushrooms, leaps across girders and battles some seriously random monsters.
And every time Super Mario Bros (as in this animated movie), punched up the Super Mario Bros videogame theme tune (often), it triggered a surge of pure childhood euphoria. Basically, I wanted and tried to love this film, way beyond the point (11 min in) when I realised it was a crushing disappointment.
Set up sees our fraternal Italian-immigrant plumbers (voiced by Chris Pratt and Charlie Day) inexplicably sucked away from New York’s Brooklyn into an alternate universe. Unlucky Luigi gets blasted into the dark, lava-land ruled by a megalomanic dragon called Bowser (Jack Black).
Meanwhile, Mario lands on his feet in a magical toadstool kingdom ruled by Princess Peach (Anya Taylor-Joy), seemingly the only female in said universe.
There’s a clear intention to bottle the joy of playing the videogames – but that doesn’t stop you wishing you were doing exactly that instead. Plot and characterisation are quickly left in the dust (not time for tension!) as the animated action zooms colourfully along, yet fails to kart our hearts us along with it. At least it’s only 92min long.
Frankly, though, I expected more. This is brought to you by Illumiation, the studio behind Minions. It’s directed by Teen Titans Go! Creators Aaron Horvarh and Michael Jelenic with a script by the co-writer of The Lego Movie 2. The voice cast includes U.S. comedy giants Keegan-Michael Key and Seth Rogan (as Donkey Kong).
Honestly, the bits of toffee popcorn stuck in my molars left a more lasting impact. The curse of the videogame adaptation has struck once more.
Out 7 April in cinemas.
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