Most of us will experience a major break-up at some point in our lives – and the majority of people go through around three before they are 30.
With the pandemic causing a spike in long-term relationships ending and divorce rates on the up, it seems that break-ups are at an all-time high.
So, how are we coping? And who is most emotionally impacted by the end of a romantic partnership?
For everyone involved, break-ups are stressful and cause a decrease in emotional wellbeing. However, if we paid any attention to outdated stereotypes, we would probably imagine that women are hit harder than men – but a new study has found the opposite to be true.
A team of psychologists from Lancaster University have recently conducted the first-ever ‘big data’ analysis of relationship problems – studying the demographic and psychological profiles of more 184,000 people who posted their relationship problems to an anonymous online forum.
This method gave a diverse spread of people to analyse and, therefore, a more accurate picture of the general population than usual relationship research.
‘Most of what we know about relationship problems comes from studies of people in couples therapy, which includes a rather specific subset of people—people who have the time, money, and motive to work on their relationship problems’, says Charlotte Entwistle, lead author of the study.
These are also people who, you would imagine, are more likely to be able to express their problems – excluding those who find it difficult to talk about their emotions, namely, large swathes of men.
The initial aim of the study was to focus on the most common problems experienced within relationships but, as it progressed, the team placed more emphasis on uncovering who tends to experience a stronger emotional reaction to a break up.
‘We realised that this was an important opportunity to put a lot of common ideas about gender differences in relationships to the test’, says Dr. Ryan Boyd, lead researcher.
‘For example, are men truly less emotionally invested in relationships than women, or is it the case that men are simply stigmatised out of sharing their feelings?’
Perhaps surprisingly, the study found that men discussed feeling sad and upset significantly more than women, when given the chance to post online. This is contradictory to other research, which has been taken from feelings recorded in a therapeutic setting.
The researchers concluded that
men experience heartbreak just as much as the next gal. However, while women tend to be more comfortable seeking therapy and talking about their emotions in an in-person environment, men are more likely to ask for help and express their feelings in an anonymous setting.This suggests that outdated ideas of men being less emotionally invested in relationships are -thankfully – very much incorrect and that it’s more about feeling comfortable expressing those feelings.
‘When you remove the traditional social stigmas against men for seeking help and sharing their emotions, they seem just as invested in working through rough patches in their relationships as women,’ Dr. Ryan Boyd concluded.
As well as discrediting old-fashioned stereotypes, the team hope that the study might lead to destigmatising the idea of seeking help when a relationship breaks down, and lead to more work being done to find alternative ways of people being able to express their emotions when having a hard time – men or otherwise.
The study and results are published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships.
Do you have a story to share?
Get in touch by emailing MetroLifestyleTeam@Metro.co.uk.
MORE : These are the four different attachment styles – and how they could be impacting your relationship
MORE : The Sex Column: ‘How do I conquer my relationship anxiety?’
MORE : Couples who meet online are ‘six times more likely to get divorced’
source https://metro.co.uk/2021/11/02/men-experience-more-heartbreak-than-women-after-a-breakup-finds-study-15527210/
0 Comments