The disappearance of Sarah Everard has sparked a wider conversation about the lack of safety women feel and the efforts they take daily to try to decrease their chances of being assaulted or abducted.
But as Sarah Everard’s case shows, as she was wearing trainers (to make running away easier) and took a well-used route home (to be as public as possible), these things sadly don’t stop attackers.
On top of this, a UN Women UK survey emerged that found 97% of women aged 18-24 have been sexually harassed, while 80% of women of all ages have experienced this in public spaces.
In response, a Twitter thread puts the onus on men to alter their behaviour to make women feel safer when alone in public, rather than on women taking ‘preventative’ measures.
It has been a welcome change in discourse for many, given that advice focused on victim-prevention can lead to victim-blaming as these five studies found.
The tweet, now with 27k likes, that opened up this conversation focused on men reads: ‘I live less than five minutes from where Sarah Everard went missing. Everyone is on high alert.
‘Aside from giving as much space as possible on quieter streets and keeping face visible, is there anything else men can reasonably do to reduce the anxiety/spook factor?’
Women have left their helpful tips, most of which are all small gestures that can make a big difference to how safe women feel walking alone at night.
There are several key points that recur in the replies, which you can share with the men in your life.
This list is by no means exhaustive, but it’s based on the real experiences of multiple women.
‘Space is key’
One person responded suggesting ways someone can rethink their spacing.
‘For me, space is key. If you’re walking on the same side as a woman behind her, walk to the side so she can keep an eye out when she looks round or cross over.
‘We need more people like you being supportive and proactive,’ one of the most liked replies reads.
‘Silent people are more frightening’
If a man suddenly appears near a womnn – that could have silently been there for a while – it can set her on edge.
It’s good to make some noise, so that your presence is noticed.
‘One of my male friends told me that if he feels he might be walking near a scared woman, he pretends to be, or gets himself, on the phone having a normal conversation,’ one woman suggests.
‘Silent people are more frightening than hearing someone talking.’
‘Never turn on a woman who won’t chat’
The intended conversation might be innocent, but women have long been told not to engage with strangers (especially if they’re men).
Respect that a woman may not want to engage in chat.
One woman tweeted: ‘The obvious being not to walk (even unwittingly) too close behind a woman walking alone but also even drunk and being just chatty and friendly and persistently trying to talk to a woman walking home alone can be unnerving.
‘And never turn on a woman who won’t chat.’
‘Cross over the road’
Slowing down is something that many mentioned as a way to appear less threatening to women who are alone.
But you can also consider how to go about overtaking them if you are in a hurry – try crossing the road to do so.
That extra 10 seconds to your journey can make the world of difference to someone’s sense of safety.
‘Slow down if you are getting too close. If you need to overtake, cross over the road. This can make a world of difference.
‘You can also tell when we are scared because we will pick up speed,’ a reply read.
Otherwise, make it clear you’re passing.
Someone else wrote: ‘I was once walking alone when a man ran up behind me.
‘He had the kindness to realise that running up to someone might spook them so he shouted out “sorry love, just running for my bus” and gave a little smile.
‘Very considerate and made me less worried!’
‘Call out companions’
A video of comedian Daniel Sloss has gone viral (again) this week and it asks men to ‘talk to your f***ng boys. Get involved.’
This sentiment was echoed in the Twitter thread that asked the same of men.
‘Call out companions’ sh*tty behaviour if it presents itself,’ one person wrote.
‘Eg, when walking up Brixton Hill after dark aged 27 (1/2 my life ago!), 3 young guys crossed my path and 1 came straight up close to check me out.
‘His 2 friends ordered him to back off and apologised to me. Good guys!’
‘Keep your hands out of your pockets’
For some women, having your hands in your pockets can appear threatening if it looks as though the person could be holding onto something, such as a weapon.
‘Keep your hands out of your pockets and down by your sides so it is obvious you are not holding anything,’ one woman tweeted.
‘Don’t get offended if someone seems scared’
This week we saw #notallmen trending above Sarah Everard’s name, which speaks to how quickly people personalise these conversations and become offended.
If a woman appears scared yet to your mind you pose no threat, remember that society has actively told her to be cautious and fearful when walking alone at night – it’s something that women are actively advised against doing.
One woman wrote: ‘This sounds silly but I’d say don’t get offended if someone seems scared.
‘I was once being followed, probably innocently, down my road at night and I started running and the man behind me chased me to insist he wasn’t interested in me. Didn’t help’
Do you have a story to share?
Get in touch by emailing MetroLifestyleTeam@Metro.co.uk
MORE : Met Police ‘ban’ Sarah Everard vigil and threaten to fine organisers
source https://metro.co.uk/2021/03/12/what-men-can-do-to-make-women-walking-alone-at-night-feel-safer-14231788/
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