Harry and Meghan’s interview with Oprah was an explosive one, with viewers stunned as the couple detailed the struggles they’ve had with the royal ‘firm’ over the years.
Among the revelations was one that perhaps fell under the radar.
When Oprah Winfrey asked Harry about his current relationship with brother William, he replied ‘The relationship is “space” at the moment. Time heals all things, hopefully.’
The concept of a relationship that is one of space is interesting, both in the context of families and romantic relationships.
While it may seem like a clever way to avoid accusing his brother of not getting in touch, this ‘space relationship’ could actually be a conscious decision from Harry, in the wake of his therapy journey (also spoken about in the Oprah interview).
Dating coach Lily Walford of Love With Intelligence tells Metro.co.uk that actively choosing a ‘space relationship’ is about cooling off and taking time away from a situation that isn’t ready to be ‘fixed’ just yet – and that can be a healthy step.
She said: ‘”The relationship is space” tells me that everything that’s needed to be said has been said, but there’s no mutual resolve.
‘In these circumstances it can be easier to take a step back and to let the dust settle before being in a place to talk about it and to come to a mutual conclusion.’
While for most of us, issues such as titles and curtseying aren’t on the agenda, many of our relationships could benefit from this approach.
Sometimes, when emotions are running high on either side, a break in communication is the best thing.
Lily highlights how William may have felt hurt due to Harry leaving the family officially, while Harry could hold onto resentments due to the alleged mistreatment of Meghan. Although both sides are valid in their feelings, when emotions are hot there isn’t a way to resolve the conflict.
Taking time away from tense interactions should provide clarity to both parties – which may end in a reconciliation, or may be the catalyst to end toxic relationships for good.
Heather Garbutt, love & relationship psychotherapist, tells Metro.co.uk: ‘In conflict, our nervous system is aroused to fight and flight, the blood goes to the back of our heads and away from our cognitive thinking brain.
‘We need time for that to flow to the frontal cortex to be restored so that we are reflecting and communicating from a more mature point in ourselves. In fight and flight we feel like we are in survival mode, so losing an argument can feel like a sort of psychological death. It’s win or lose.
‘It’s really important in resolving conflict to take the time to calm down, be on the other person‘s side for a while; seeing it from their viewpoint.’
If you want to take space from a relationship that’s causing you harm, it can be tough to communicate this without starting more drama.
Try to make clear your reasons for taking a step back, and let the other person know that the aim is a good outcome, but you’re not ready to reach that yet.
‘When you feel comfortable with reaching out again, say that you are looking for a resolution and say what you need in order for things to feel resolved,’ says Lily.
‘Ask what they need too and see how you can both collaborate to achieve that together.
‘Yes, it can be a deep conversation, but it can be so liberating. Sometimes all we need is that simple acknowledgement that our experience, emotions, situation and even yourself as a person matters.’
If you’re on the receiving end of a need for space, try to remember that it isn’t a harsh, irreversible snub.
It’s a chance for reflection, and one that – even if it does end in a breakup or extended time of no-contact – is for the best for both of you.
‘Taking space is respectful and must not be used as a sulky punitive silence,’ says Heather.
‘Sadly, rifts in all kinds of relationships happen and sometimes the people involved drift apart.
‘We need to resolve a conflict with kindness, compassion, curiosity and a willingness to understand and forgive. There may also be the need to make amends on both sides.’
Do you have a story you’d like to share?
Get in touch at MetroLifestyleTeam@metro.co.uk.
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source https://metro.co.uk/2021/03/09/harry-and-meghans-space-relationship-with-the-windsors-could-be-what-you-need-to-cool-off-14214246/
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