I’ve noticed that when I am in need of something – a simple ask from an electrician, say, or I want a cheaper callout from the plumber – my voice changes.
It rises to a sweeter, softer, feminine tone, almost like seven-year-old me trying to convince my dad that buying me a scooter with a pink helmet from Woolworths will be his best financial investment yet.
As an adult, I call it my ‘sexy baby voice’ (SBV).
I first saw the term ‘sexy-baby vocal virus’ coined by actress and director Lake Bell in 2013. Bell described that type of high pitched, upward intonation ‘Valley Girl’ speak that’s commonly associated with Paris Hilton and Britney Spears. More commonly, it’s known as a ‘ditzy girl’ speaking style.
It came to my attention again after I saw a viral tweet about Jessica from the Netflix dating show Love is Blind where people criticised her for altering her voice when conversing with men.
I was shocked because I do it too when I want a discount or a free pass, and the person who can give it to me is (usually) a bloke.
It works. I remember using my SBV on a festival trader at Lovebox because I ran out of cash (these were the days before contactless) and he ended up giving me free fish and chips because ‘I asked so nicely’ and thought I was sweet.
My SBV came out automatically. I knew that talking more softly and girly would make me appear more endearing, more adorable – cute enough for the vendor to give me a free over-priced meal.
Then there was the time I clumsily booked the wrong coach back to London from Manchester and the driver said no to a few people but let me on because how could he say no to an ‘ever so polite’ ask?
The question remains, however: is using a SBV to get what you want problematic?
Bell said the voice was ‘infecting our generation of young women and might lead to the demise of this great Earth’. But I disagree.
SBV is not problematic – it’s performative, playful and persuasive, essentially a ‘pretty please with a cherry on the top’ without explicitly asking for whatever it is you want.
It is the inverse version of ‘big dick energy’; it’s not just about your voice, but having an energy that radiates and draws people to you.
Whilst some may find SBV annoying and unnecessary, I’d say it’s all subjective. What may sound ‘girly’ and ‘dumb’ to some, sounds smart and strategic to me
As an example of the SBV in action, who could forget the scene in Spice World where Geri and Victoria are speeding across London in the Spice Bus? After being stopped by a police officer, they sweetly ask: ‘Is there a problem, officer?’ Needless to say the SBV works its magic and they’re free to go.
I don’t believe that SBV is manipulative, either. It requires the user to employ charm, social graces, eye contact, and be warm and respectful to the other person too. I will always respect a hard no – I just haven’t had one yet.
Besides, isn’t it human nature to use a fake voice sometimes to integrate into society? Most of us change the way we speak on work calls or at an interview, pronouncing all the vowels. Psychotherapist Nova Cobban told me that just like how women adapt their voices to gain reward, men will often deepen their voices to sound more authoritative or powerful.
Women have always been criticised and policed on the way we speak. From birth we are conditioned to watch our tone, told to be polite and smile and that we sound ‘dumb’ for talking too sexily.
This is all the while receiving approval for being softer and kinder but labelled ‘bossy’ or ‘pushy’ if we sound assertive and forthright.
We only need to look at the treatment of Hilary Clinton during the 2016 elections and the way she was slammed for her cackle, labelled ‘shrill’ and ‘shrieking’ by male politicians and pundits making a clear statement about what the voice of a leader ‘should’ sound like.
In a New York Times article from 2012, Professor Penny Eckheart, a professor of Linguistics at Stanford University, argued that girls who speak in SBV-style tones are actually reclaiming their power rather than giving it away.
‘A lot of these really flamboyant things you hear are cute, and girls are supposed to be cute,’ she said. ‘But they’re not just using them because they’re girls. They’re using them to achieve some kind of interactional and stylistic end.’
Whilst some may find SBV annoying and unnecessary, I’d say it’s all subjective. What may sound ‘girly’ and ‘dumb’ to some, sounds smart and strategic to me.
Paris and Britney use an SBV as their businesswoman voice, and it works for them – so what does that actually say about the power of SBV?
The winning formula here is to challenge and critique stereotypes, as well as the gendered expectation that because a woman chooses to sound cute, she is less powerful than a man.
Perhaps the argument isn’t really about a voice but more about the limitations placed on women when we want to assert ourselves.
Women deserve to be heard whichever vocal affectation they use. Paris Hilton revealed on her This is Paris youtube documentary in September that the SBV she is notorious for was fake and, in the end, extremely financially advantageous to her brand.
If she can make millions from it, I can bag the occasional freebie. Long live the SBV.
Do you have a story you’d like to share? Get in touch by emailing jess.austin@metro.co.uk.
Share your views in the comments below.
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source https://metro.co.uk/2020/11/18/i-wont-apologise-for-talking-in-a-sexy-baby-voice-to-get-ahead-13613314/
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