From the second my eyes open in the morning, searing pain floods each of my nerve endings, burning and scratching at my insides.
It’s like waking up with a weight on my chest that can only be lifted with mental grit, which is often in short supply when my brain is already overloaded.
Fortunately, I have found a management technique that blows all the alternatives out of the water – orgasms.
It was 12 years ago when these symptoms started, and they steadily worsened until I woke up one day to find the pain had signed a lifetime lease.
It wasn’t until 2012, however, that I finally received a diagnosis of fibromyalgia – a chronic pain condition – and that was only because I had cried in numerous doctors’ offices and eliminated all other possible causes.
Trying to manage the chronic pain is like learning how to ride a storm, always bracing for the next flare up and never quite knowing if the threat has dissipated or if it’s just saving its energy for the next strike.
Doctors had previously prescribed everything from high strength opiates to anti-inflammatories and lidocaine injections. I even took the unsolicited advice of well-meaning strangers and tried yoga, but all it did was improve my flexibility.
The medications made the pain more manageable but they also caused fatigue, nausea and loss of concentration, which made living with the condition even more difficult.
Then, three years ago, I was having sex with my then-partner when an explosive orgasm washed away the pain with a tidal wave of euphoria.
Previously, I had never achieved a climax intense enough to get rid of the pain completely and I had not considered the possibilities of pleasure as pain management.
The shock of not being in severe discomfort for the first time in years meant it took several minutes to realise that ecstasy had completely driven it away.
I lay still for a long time afterward, hoping that physical calm would allow the gift to stay permanently. My ex and I theorised about how this five-minute reprieve came to pass and went on to spend an ecstasy-filled weekend chasing after painlessness.
I got lost in the fantasy of curing agony with pleasure. Our long-distance relationship meant that my nifty painkiller was not always easily accessible with a partner, and my pain levels continued their upward trend.
Eventually, pain infected my sleep, my work and my ability to function. To combat the rising tides, I redirected my attention to exploring how pleasure could improve my condition.
Initially, I gave myself a nightly orgasm to drift into restful sleep – then I started to give myself a blissful climax every morning.
Each one only expels the pain for approximately 10 to 30 minutes but the calming effect on my body does lessen it over the course of a day.
Introducing more sensual gratification into my life was no hardship and I took a deep dive into orgasmic research, identifying eight different ways that my body can reach climax, including orgasming without any physical touch, clitoral orgasms and g-spot masturbation.
These techniques do not always have uniform responses. Sometimes the orgasms come in small, gentle pulses; at other times, they are 50 ft tidal waves that comfort every nerve.
A full orgasm is not strictly necessary. If I’m out and struggling to manage then clenching my vaginal muscles or indulging in a fantasy can induce a pleasing response that wards off the worst of my fibromyalgia symptoms.
These techniques mean that I don’t have to dive into a public toilet for a quickie, which I have done.
High-intensity pain days, however, often require a full day in bed and I spend them repeatedly masturbating to cleanse my body.
Thirteen years of being frequently disbelieved and dismissed by doctors wears down faith in medical solutions, so finding an effective technique that’s removed from a hospital environment has given me immense solace.
I do worry about mindlessly medicalising the process, so I make sure to mix things up, sometimes focussing purely on sexual satisfaction, getting off with fantasies that are tied to specific carnal desires. When I am using an orgasm for pain management, it’s purely about the sensations in my body.
I wish that more people, both in the medical community and in wider society, were more knowledgeable about the impact chronic pain has on the lives of 28million people in the UK, whether that’s from fibromyalgia or other conditions.
I believe that if more people understood my condition in particular then doctors would acknowledge chronic pain at face value and employers, friends and family members would be better equipped to support those who suffer.
After a particularly harrowing experience with the lead consultant of a pain management unit in London where I was patronised, shouted at and made to feel crazy, I stopped discussing chronic pain with doctors and I have never shared my technique with one.
Orgasms will always be my painkiller because it works for everything – aching joints, fibromyalgia pains, period cramps, headaches and stomach problems.
While I will always have hope that medical advancement is possible, I am content knowing that pleasure works for me. My only fear is that my pain levels could rise above the amount of relief I get from climaxing.
On the other hand, maybe that’s just a challenge to intensify my orgasms? With an arsenal of sex toys at my disposal, there must be more to discover and that is a pleasure cruise I am willing to ride.
And, if I get into another relationship, then my partner will be welcome to explore the euphoric paradise I have curated.
If they aren’t interested, it’s always been easier to travel solo anyway.
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source https://metro.co.uk/2020/09/11/daily-orgasms-help-me-live-with-chronic-pain-13255798/
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