A lesbian who kept her homosexuality a secret from her family for a decade has now become a ‘coming out coach’ to help others tell their families that they’re gay. After once fearing her family would reject her for being gay, Megan Pulvermacher, from Minneapolis, Minnesota, has set up her own business aimed at giving fellow members of the LGBTQ community tips for coming out.
Full-time therapist, Megan, 33, uses her own traumatic experience of being ‘terrified’ her family would disown her for being gay to coach other people how to overcome fear and anxiety associated with revealing all to friends and family. When she was a teenager Megan said she prayed for her ‘gay to go away’ over fears her Catholic parents, who believe acts of homosexuality ‘to be a sin’, would treat her differently if they knew the truth.
Megan, who is in a long-term relationship with 32-year-old Grace, said: ‘I help people develop skills and habits so they can build the best lives for themselves. I learned how to overcome my anxiety and fear when I came out, so I decided I want to help other people do the same.
‘I offer one on one coaching because everyone’s coming out story is different. The main thing is self acceptance, once people have accepted what makes them happy and why, then you can learn how to let go of negative thoughts.
‘One type of therapy that works very well is reflective therapy, where I go through why people feel like they do and ask if it’s based on fact or just a thought in their mind. Often negative thoughts make people have low self esteem and make people feel bad about themselves.
‘There are things you can do to make coming out to your family much easier, as well as the aftermath of it. My life is so much better after coming out.’
Megan is the eldest of two children to mom, Colleen, 60, and dad, Ed, 59, and has a brother, Mike, aged 25. As a child she grew up in Richland Center, Wisconsin, a small town renowned nationally as being deeply religious and populated by residents who follow Christianity and Catholic believes.
She said she has been attracted to women ever since her early teens, but kept her true sexuality from her parents for around ten years fearing they would treat her differently. She had secret girlfriends in high school and college and, if it wasn’t for her mom forcing her to confess the truth at the age of 23, Megan said she planned to keep it from them forever.
Megan, who no longer follows the Catholic religion, said learning to concentrate on her own happiness helped her to overcome anxiety associated with what other people thought of her.
She said: ‘I am done with trying to make other people happy. I felt like I failed my parents as their child, but when I sat back and thought about it, I came to realize the only thing that mattered was my own happiness.
‘I figured out how to let go of my fears and always fact check what I do in life and if my happiness was based on fact rather than the beliefs of others, then I have nothing to worry about.
‘I am really happy now in my own self-acceptance. No one should be afraid of who they are and if I can overcome these challenges, then anyone can.’
Megan has used her experience of coming out and combined it with her professional training in therapy to set up her own business, Live Head First, and markets herself as a LGBTQ+ life coach.
She has said her main aim is to help gay women break through the emotional aftermath of coming out by ‘living head first’ and concentrating on boosting their own happiness as a priority.
Megan said: ‘When you get a build up of emotional stress it can really limit what you’re able to do. I learnt to let go of all of those negative thoughts surrounding what people thought of me.
‘Once you can accept what makes you happy and why, then you can feed off that positive energy and the bad thoughts become less relevant.
‘The only things that should have an impact on the way you live your life are facts about how you feel, not the beliefs of others. It’s important to know the difference so you know how to react.
‘My main aim is to help people deal with the pressure of coming out and the aftermath that come with it. There are things you can do to make the whole process easier and I offer group coaching as well as one-on-one sessions.’
As well as offering coaching Megan works to connect members of the LGBTQ+ community with one and other as a way of creating a larger support network.
Megan added: ‘Life after coming out can be very lonely and my goal is create a shared happiness, acceptance and community support. It’s all about developing positive mindsets.
‘Unfortunately for the LGBTQ+ community therapy is an active thing, but it can be a very effective way of learning how to live life to he full.’
To visit Megan’s life coaching page click here.
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source https://metro.co.uk/2020/06/23/lesbian-becomes-coming-coach-help-others-tell-loved-ones-gay-12853178/
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