For many women, menstruation is a completely normal and natural process, and something we don’t really think twice about. We bleed and get on with it.
For Muslim women, periods mean we are exempt from our obligatory daily prayers and from fasting during Ramadan. This is stated in the Qu’ran. It’s Islam and God giving us a respite from religious duties during what can be a difficult and painful time for women.
Islam tries to make things as easy as possible for its followers, so women are excused from performing religious duties whilst menstruating as both require some effort.
Unfortunately, this has somehow translated into the idea that periods are an inherently ‘dirty’ thing. This isn’t an idea tied up with faith as women around the world, regardless of their beliefs, have felt the shame and stigma that is attached to menstruation.
One of the most extreme examples comes from Nepal where, although illegal, it is still common for women bleeding to have to sleep outside in huts.
The stigma around bleeding is present every time I’m on my period during Ramadan.
I have memories from my early teenage years of my mum telling me to eat before my dad got home, or to make sure I had my cup of tea in my bedroom.
I never really questioned it at the time; it was just the done thing and I was vaguely aware that periods were shameful and shouldn’t be discussed.
Over the years, it became a learned behaviour; one that is hard to break.
This year I won’t be using my usual tactics to hide away. It’s time to face the awkwardness and attempt to break some of the stigma
Now, I can’t help but feel like I am part of the problem for giving in to the shame. I’ve pretended to pray and fast if a man asked me about my Ramadan routine, instead of having the confidence to say, ‘I’m on my period’.
At other times of the year, it’s easier to hide. When it’s just prayers you’re exempt from, people tend not to notice. But during Ramadan, fasting makes up such a huge part of it that it’s almost impossible to avoid without warranting attention.
Every year I have tried to pretend I’m not menstruating to others while secretly sneaking a drink here and there, planning my meals around when male relatives will be in and out of the house, and eating my dinner in my room.
Considering most women will have their period during Ramadan, as it lasts up to 30 days, it feels ridiculous that we cannot bring ourselves to talk about something so normal. Even between ourselves.
Yes, it’s less awkward acknowledging you’re on your period to another Muslim woman, but only just. The shame is so deeply ingrained that discussion rarely goes further than telling someone you’re menstruating.
But we don’t take part in Ramadan or prayers for a reason and I refuse to be ashamed about that; I’ve simply had enough of pretending.
It was seeing other Muslim women sharing their stories of period-shaming online that made me reevaluate how I think about my time of the month. Like me, other women admitted to eating in their rooms, and some had even been shamed by strangers in public (in majority Muslim countries).
This year I won’t be using my usual tactics to hide away. It’s time to face the awkwardness and attempt to break some of the stigma we’ve grown so accustomed to.
I won’t be sneaking off to eat and I won’t be pretending to fast. And if any of my family asks about this, I will simply tell them I’m on my period.
I don’t expect a negative reaction but neither do I expect a positive one. I predict it will initially be uncomfortable and awkward and probably skimmed over, but I hope eventually it’ll just become a normal thing.
This may sound like such a simple thing to do, just an acknowledgement to others. However, this can be a significant step for Muslim women.
I know it is for me.
Do you have a story that you’d like to share? Get in touch by emailing jess.austin@metro.co.uk
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source https://metro.co.uk/2020/05/11/ramadan-refuse-ashamed-period-12675668/
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