The three-date rule is dead as most people are up for having sex sooner

Ella Byworth illustration of two women kissing in bed
Ding dong, the three-date rule is dead (Picture: Ella Byworth for Metro.co.uk)

If you’ve been on the dating scene for a while, you’ll likely have heard of the three-date rule.

It’s pretty self-explanatory, but just in case you don’t know the drill: the three-date rule proposes that you don’t have sex until after at least three dates, the idea being that this stops you rushing into getting physical.

But according to a new survey, the three-date rule is dead, with the majority of single people up for having sex on the first date if the chemistry is right.

A survey of 2,000 people by IllicitEncounters found that 54% of single people would sleep with a new partner on a first date, while just 24% still believe you should wait until at least three dates before having sex with someone new.

They also say the average number of dates before sex happens has gone down from three to 2.5 in the last ten years – which, yes, is quite confusing, because this seems to suggest people are interrupting their dates midway through to bone.

For clarity, though, this actually just refers to the average, suggesting that it’s more common than it was before to have sex on the first or second date rather than the third.

The second date seems to be the new magic point, as 63% of those surveyed voted for date number two as the right time to have sex.

Only 9% think you should wait longer than three dates before going between the sheets.

This shift could be a wonderful thing, showing a sign in changing attitudes and a reduction of the shame around having sex ‘too fast’.

Illustration of naked couple in bed together
More people are up for having sex on the first date (Picture: Ella Byworth for Metro.co.uk)

84% of those questioned would happily have a relationship with someone who had slept with them on the first date, signalling that the slut-shaming idea that having sex quickly makes you less worthy of long-term love could be dying out. Hooray.

64% said they were more likely to sleep with a new partner more quickly because of the way dating had changed in the last decade, while 74% said that dating apps and websites had made meeting a new partner ‘more competitive’ and that heightened choice made sex more available.

The vast majority of those questioned (82%) said that the three-date rule was ‘out-of-date’ and it was wrong to set a time limit before having sex. Hear, hear.

IllicitEncounters.com sex and relationship expert Jessica Leoni says: ‘The old three-date rule, whereby new couples were supposed to wait three dates before having sex to show that they are not “easy”, seems so old-fashioned these days when the whole dating scene has gone digital and been completely transformed.

‘Who really wants to wait that long for sex when you can go on five new dates in a week?

‘Couples are deciding to go for it straight away if the chemistry is right.’

Do you have a story to share? Get in touch by emailing MetroLifestyleTeam@Metro.co.uk.

Share your views in the comments section below.

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source https://metro.co.uk/2020/05/30/three-date-rule-dead-people-are-sex-first-date-12779277/
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