Despite everything feeling unfamiliar, uncertain, unprecedented right now, there are some things in life that march on regardless.
Women are still having babies, and new mums are having to grapple with the complexities of bringing life into a world that is unrecognisable from what it was six months ago.
Having a baby in lockdown isn’t easy. You’re cut off from your support systems, your friends and family, accessing health resources is more complicated, you might also be facing financial uncertainty.
And of course, there is the constant, underlying fear for the health of your new baby, your family and your loved ones.
But, while it’s incredibly tough, new mums are resilient, resourceful and doing everything they can to make the best of the situation.
We spoke to some women who have welcomed beautiful new babies during lockdown to find out exactly how they’re coping.
Chloe Stott
Chloe, from Richmond, Yorkshire, gave birth to her first baby – a little boy called Henry – less than three weeks ago.
She says it feels incredibly bittersweet to become a mum during such a strange time:
‘I have the most amazing little thing that has come into my life and brought me so much happiness, and all I want to do is show him off to the world (or at the very least to his grandparents, aunties and uncles) but knowing that no one can meet him is really sad.
‘However, at the same time there, is also a deep-rooted fear and a desire to protect him – I am acutely aware that his little immune system is really weak at this age (currently 19 days old) so I worry about how I will feel once lockdown eases; will I even want family members to hold him?
That in itself is an awful thought.’
At the moment, Chole’s husband isn’t working because of the pandemic, so she feels he is providing all the support she needs right now.
‘We are very much a team!
‘I’ve also been impressed with the maternity services in my area; midwives and health visitors have continued to do in-person visits (although fully covered in PPE) and I received daily breastfeeding support calls in the first week so I feel like if I had any issues then the support was there.
‘I think I’m also lucky in that baby Henry loves to sleep and is feeding/gaining weight really well. These are the two main things that cause upset when they aren’t working out, and can be the reason people feel they need more support, so because these are really good for us it means that we are getting on very well as just a three.’
Chloe says she’s generally a very positive person, and has managed to maintain quite good mental and emotional health during this time – but it’s not always easy.
‘During his first week we had a “doorstep visit” from my sister in law (who had done our food shopping) and we held the baby up at the window for her to see and after she left I felt really down about the situation, as it hammered home that family and friends couldn’t visit properly.
‘I worry that they are missing all his “firsts” and that he will change so much by the time they can see him.
‘I also worry that he might become super clingy and dependent on us and I always wanted him to be confident and happy to see other people.
‘But I do try to remain positive and remind myself it isn’t forever! We are all happy and healthy and have a lot to be grateful for.’
Despite the strangeness of the situation and the anxieties, Chloe is still thankful for lots of things
‘We are really lucky because my husband is off work on full pay for the foreseeable future.
‘So we are financially stable as well as having lots of quality time to spend as a family.
‘This was especially beneficial as I had an unexpected c-section and would have really struggled if he had to return to work after two weeks.
‘Although I’m really sad that family can’t visit there is an element that it is a blessing in disguise – a c-section is major surgery and so I was able to spend an entire week in bed recovering, and have since spent a lot of time chilling on the sofa while my husband has waited on me hand and foot.
‘If visitors were allowed I don’t think I would have taken it so easy, but with the current situation it means I’ve recovered really well and I’m now fully ready for visitors as and when they are allowed.’
Ashlee Graham
First-time mum Ashlee ended up giving birth to her daughter Agnes on her living room floor after her husband was told he had to self-isolate for 12 weeks.
Just one week before Ashlee went into labour, her husband Richard was told he was on the Covid-19 high-risk list, and he was told to shield from the outside world.
This meant Ashlee had to re-think her birthing plans, and opt for a home birth with only paracetamol for the pain:
‘I hadn’t originally planned to have a home birth, but it ended up being the best option for us. We hired a birthing pool and the home birth midwife was there to talk me through what I needed to do.
‘It also meant that we could have our home comforts – so as soon as I was ready, we shouted for Alexa to start the “push-it” playlist!’
But lockdown is still having a big impact on the couple post-birth, with Richard still under strict house-arrest.
‘I haven’t left the house in months. I’m having to sit in the living room every day and stare at the spot where I gave birth – and I still don’t know when anyone will get to officially meet Agnes.
‘I do feel a bit robbed of not being able to see my grandparents, or to even spend time with other new mums, pushing the pram around the local park.
‘We’ve been keeping in touch with friends and family through the usual methods – FaceTime, sharing pictures, but it’s not the same.
‘We’ve been inundated with cards and flowers through the post, but it feels strange that we haven’t had that flurry of visitors that all new parents seem to go through.
‘I’m also exclusively breastfeeding, meaning I’ve been doing all of the night-time feeds, so I’m really tired – but we wanted to make sure she was breastfed for the first six months. I must say, my new best friend seems to be Lansinoh nipple cream and breast pads – they’ve been a life saver.
‘I think this is probably the hardest thing I’ll ever go through in my life. The only thing that’s kept us going is Agnes.
‘It’s full-on being a new mum, so the days and weeks seem to have merged into one – but we’re getting through it.’
Claire Grace
Claire who lives in Croydon, south London, was in hospital for almost a week before lockdown began because she needed to be induced early:
‘Because the situation was changing whilst I was in hospital, it was scary watching things unfold on social media.
‘When lockdown was put in place, it felt like the rug had been pulled from under our feet, as all of a sudden I couldn’t see my mum and my six-year-old daughter’s school was shut.
‘The only person who could visit me in hospital was my husband and we were allowed home just three days before lockdown.’
Claire says that not seeing family has been the hardest thing they have had to deal with by far. She feels sadness that her family are missing these special times with her new baby, Ellis.
‘Whilst it has at times felt nice to be in our own little bubble, it has taken the shine off what should be a happy time filled with lots of visits for new baby cuddles.
‘I’m also lucky that my family live near by and so I’m definitely struggling without that extra help I would’ve received in early weeks around the house.
‘Combine that with attempts to home-school our daughter, and Ellis had a tongue-tie and struggled with feeding in the first few weeks.
‘I really struggled some days with overwhelm and guilt that I couldn’t keep up. I can only imagine how hard it must be for first time mums too.’
Claire says the inescapable barrage of negative news was having a serious impact on her mental and emotional well-being.
‘I had to delete news apps from my phone as I was becoming obsessed, checking them constantly for updates on the situation. At first, I was in denial about the seriousness of the situation, but I think that was purely a coping mechanism.
‘I can still only take things one day at a time, as I get overwhelmed if I think further ahead and think about how long we may still have until we can see family or schools reopen.
‘I’ve tried to get some fresh air every day though as even a short walk has really helped my mental health.
‘I’m grateful that so far most days the weather has been nice and we live near different green spaces that are nice to walk round as a family.’
In a practical sense, there have been other challenges caused by lockdown as well.
‘The on-going limits on access to “normal” health visitor care has been challenging. For example, breastfeeding cafes are closed and video calls are no substitute for getting in-person support from someone who can guide you.
‘Ellis couldn’t have a tongue-tie procedure until he was around seven weeks old, and typically would’ve been seen much earlier but new procedures had to be put in place because of social distancing rules.
‘All NHS staff have been great though and have given as much support as they can in the circumstances.
‘I also run my own business called The Assistant Quarters. I offer business support to other small business owners and work with a small team. Trying to keep on top of support available on that front and working out how I make things work around maternity leave means I’m constantly juggling to keep all the plates spinning.’
But Claire is doing her best to cling on to any positives in the situation. For one, the amount of time that her daughter has been able to spend with her new baby brother has been brilliant.
‘It has been lovely to watch as she dotes on him. She would otherwise have been at school and would probably have felt like she was missing out.
‘I know we will be able to see our family soon when restrictions are lifted, and I know that, in the scheme of things, we are all just very lucky to be healthy and safe at home.’
Do you have a story of parenting or motherhood in lockdown? We want to hear from you.
Get in touch: metrolifestyleteam@metro.co.uk.
MORE: How to make a face mask using a sock
MORE: Lotus Biscoff lasagne is here and it’s super easy to create
MORE: Can you still get a divorce in lockdown?
source https://metro.co.uk/2020/05/19/mums-who-have-lockdown-babies-tell-us-how-coping-12722096/
0 Comments