With coronavirus becoming a bigger concern with each day, more people are opting to self-isolate (presumably with copious amounts of pasta and loo roll, by the looks of supermarket shelves).
While it’s sensible and encouraged to stay indoors if you are exhibiting symptoms or are concerned about your health, this can get lonely, especially if you are a) in a relationship or b) living with your partner.
Maybe you’ve chosen to self-isolate in two different rooms, spraying the bathroom with anti-bacterial products every time you nip to the loo – so how can you keep the spark alive if you can’t touch?
This, our friends, is the perfect opportunity to explore phone sex.
Better than sexting, but not quite as awkward as video sex (though do knock yourself out if you do fancy a private cam session with your partner/s), phone sex is an underrated way to tease and tantalise.
The best part? It’s coronavirus-safe (just remember to wipe your device first).
Swap the face mask for something sexy
If you’re new to phone sex, you might be feeling a tad uncomfortable, so create a space that will make you more open to the experience.
Set the scene: dress up in sexy lingerie or your favourite boxer shorts, or get your kit off completely and crawl under the covers.
Heck, sit on a chair fully dressed and light some candles if that’s what does it for you.
Most importantly, try to ease any coronavirus anxiety you might be feeling and focus on your body and your partner.
If you can’t touch, talk
To lend a buzz phrase from the business world: communication is key.
If jumping straight in feels best, do that – but don’t be afraid to say ‘honey, I need to talk this through before we start’. He, she or they might be just as nervous as you are.
‘Initiating phone sex doesn’t have to be scary,’ says Tom Thurlow, sex expert and founder of Ricky.com, a sex toy company.
‘You can start by sexting. Sending a few sexy text messages can set the mood and get your partner’s imagination running wild.
‘This is a great way to introduce dirty talk if you haven’t yet and could escalate to phone sex. Or, if you have been together a while, why not try reminiscing on some of your hottest sex scenarios.’
If talking is too much, you could stick to moaning, and just listen as you climax together.
Tom says: ‘Slow it down. Good things come to those who wait, so build up that sexual atmosphere and recognise each other’s turn-ons.
‘Enjoy the silence. If you talked constantly throughout sex you’d never get anywhere. In those quieter moments let your moans and groans do the work and share what you’re thinking about that is getting you there.’
Orgasms are not required
Speaking of orgasms, not everyone can or wants to have one – so don’t feel that you have to get each other to that point.
The phone sex in itself, with or without climax, could bring you closer together as a couple.
‘It’s not all about the end game,’ says Tom.
‘Ultimately, phone sex is about connecting with someone and having fun. Sex is supposed to be enjoyable, so it goes without saying that there shouldn’t be any pressure on reaching an orgasm. If it happens, it happens.
‘If the passion is flowing and so are you, great! If the dirty talk has you both hot under the collar but more excited to get your hands on each other in person, that’s also fine.
‘Phone sex can be the ultimate sexy appetiser before your next date IRL.’
Which will hopefully be 7-14 days later.
Turn up the heat even more
So you’re past the first hurdle and have enjoyed your first call. You’re feeling bold, but what should you follow up with?
Tom explains: ‘Phone sex is a great way to talk about things which you may be too shy to suggest or wouldn’t necessarily do in real life.
‘It’s a safe place to divulge your wildest fantasies or engage in some role-play. Try suggesting sexy scenarios to your partner and see how they respond.
‘Also, don’t be afraid to use sex toys to stimulate yourself while your partner does the talking.
‘Tell them exactly what you are using and how it feels. This may increase the chances of you reaching an orgasm and will drive your partner wild hearing about it, but being unable to see or touch you.
‘If nothing is sparking that sex imagination, then use what you know.
‘Throwback to a sexual moment you enjoyed together. Bringing you both into the moment and connecting through the phone.’
If you do decide to involve video, don’t forget to talk about the big C: consent.
‘If you are using video or images then make sure that you have agreements with your partner about them not being shared, or saved if that’s what you want,’ says Kate Moyle, sex expert at Lelo.
‘Or for example to make yourself feel more comfortable, then not including face images.
‘Adding sex toys can be an additional way of including sensual elements and sensations, and there are sex toys such as teledildonics [connected dildos] that can be used across distance to offer couples simultaneous pleasure experiences.’
If all else fails, just talk
Phone sex isn’t for everyone. But if what you’re missing during self-isolation isn’t sex, but rather human connection, why not just… chat?
‘Phone sex really comes into its own when people can’t be together as much as they would like, because they live and work in different places, when one person is on a work trip, and so on,’ says Dr Becky Spelman, psychologist and founder of The Privacy Clinic.
‘It can help to maintain a sense of intimacy and closeness during times apart, and keeps the sex drive simmering so that it can come to the boil quickly when they are together again.’
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source https://metro.co.uk/2020/03/13/coronavirus-phone-sex-self-isolating-12392061/?ITO=squid
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