News of Kobe Bryant’s death on Sunday sent shock waves across social and mainstream media platforms.
After the initial outpouring of praise and celebration of a life filled with incredible achievements, tweets and articles began to surface about Bryant’s rape case in 2003.
With that came a torrent of abuse aimed at anyone who dare to mention the fact that a man had been accused of rape.
I understand that emotions run high in the aftermath of such a tragic loss of life. Cynics will no doubt accuse people of using a tragedy as a platform to push an agenda, therefore I don’t want to focus on that specific case due to the circumstances under which it came into the spotlight.
I do think it’s important, however, to talk about the prevalence of rape culture on social media and the silencing of those who dare to speak out against it. With only 1.5 per cent of rape cases leading to a charge in the UK, I feel it’s an agenda worth pushing.
As a women’s rights advocate and vocal adversary of sexual violence, I’ve received my fair share of negative appraisal for calling out rape culture. It ranges from the unimaginative critique of ‘virtue signalling’ – the attempt to show other people that you are a good person – all the way up to threats like ‘I’ll end a c**t like you’.
This week, after I tweeted about a rape case, one Twitter user promised to tweet me each morning to remind me to go ‘eat a dick’. A kind offer, but I tend to skip breakfast.
His commitment to the cause lasted all of one day, but the message was clear enough: speak out about rape, and you’ll be threatened into silence.
Sadly, he’s not an anomaly.
When people dare to mention rape or sexual assault cases online, they are met with varying levels of criticism that parallel the treatment of victims themselves. Accusations of seeking attention, lying and somehow profiting from ‘victimhood’ come thick and fast along with threats of further sexual or physical violence.
If only people could exercise the same willful ignorance towards rape culture criticism, as they do towards rape itself.
Victim blaming is deeply entrenched in our culture, so much so that victims of sexual assault blame themselves for the inexcusable actions of others.
I’ve been there myself. Wondered if my top was too tight, that I shouldn’t have stayed the night at the house of a man I didn’t want to sleep with, that I didn’t shout ‘No’ loud enough. I know now none of it was my fault, but the same self-doubt and self-blame has transferred to my activism too.
When I’m threatened for being vocal about rape and violence, I wonder if I had encouraged it somehow. That it was my fault.
If only people could exercise the same willful ignorance towards rape culture criticism, as they do towards rape itself.
A few friends have suggested to me, while playing ‘Devil’s Advocate’, that perhaps the anonymous women I speak on behalf of might not actually want me to speak for them at all. That’s something that kept me up at night on more than a few occasions.
As much as I appreciate the need for proper discourse and debate, I made peace with the fact that I would rather be an advocate for victims, than the devil.
To be a victim is seen as inherently weak, which is why so many people on the receiving end of abuse of power prefer to think of themselves as survivors. I think there’s some sort of conditioned need within us to separate ourselves from victims/survivors of abuse; a kind of defense-mechanism.
To blame the victim is to distance oneself from the distressing event, therefore becoming impervious to risk of it happening to you. But it can happen to anyone, and if it did, seeing others being vocal about systemic rape culture online might provide some comfort in knowing you are not alone.
Seeing people receive abuse for such views only continues the vicious cycle.
In an age where we are increasingly living out our lives over the internet, social media platforms should be doing more to crack down on threats of sexual and physical violence.
Online policing comes with its difficulties, especially in an age where ‘freedom of speech’ appears to give the green light to vitriol. When threats – however empty – are made, is an account suspension enough of a deterrent?
Must we reach Katie Hopkins-esque levels of hatred before an account be suspended?
I’m looking at the liberals too, who are often guilty of carrying a shield of righteousness on their left whilst doling out abusive stabs with their sword of contempt towards the right. I’ve certainly been guilty of speaking in an unsavoury way towards people I disagreed with.
Passion often supersedes reason but abuse is abuse, and no one should feel threatened or silenced for speaking out against rape culture.
Identity politics have left us with a battlefield so divided it’s hard to know who’s fighting who, but on an issue as clearly abhorrent as rape and sexual violence, I would hope that it could be an issue that unifies instead of divides.
We have a long way to go but I truly believe that in a world where rape was taken seriously, and was consistently and appositely punished, people would not feel the need to use the aftermath of a tragic incident to highlight a prevalent injustice.
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source https://metro.co.uk/2020/02/01/we-should-never-be-silenced-when-it-comes-to-calling-out-rape-culture-12160627/
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