Stop speculating that socially awkward people are autistic

Illustration of distressed woman with hand over her face
‘We need to stop speculating if someone is on the spectrum, unless they have declared an official, or self-diagnosis’ (Picture: Ella Byworth for Metro.co.uk)

These days, it seems fashionable to speculate about whether or not someone is on the autistic spectrum. My Twitter timeline suggested recently that Dominic Cummings was on the spectrum – not from himself, but from people who didn’t even know the man. Why is this acceptable?

Recently, Irish politician Catherine Noone was made to apologise for remarks she made earlier this month about Taoiseach Leo Varadkar: ‘He’s autistic like, he’s on the spectrum, there’s no doubt about it. He’s uncomfortable socially and he doesn’t always get the in-between bits.’ Varadkar has since accepted her apology.

Her comments relied heavily on the stereotype of people on the spectrum not having a sense of empathy. As someone who was diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) in 2015, I hear comments like this all the time, which contribute to confusion and judgement about members of my community.

For instance, one Instagram user anonymously told me how, at a children’s football match, they heard one father remark that a boy was probably on the spectrum, with another agreeing: ‘Yeah, definitely a bit Rain Man’.

Meanwhile, a Twitter user also revealed how they had called someone out for using the phrase ‘they’re autistic’ flippantly, comparing it to the (quite rightly no longer used) expression ‘that’s so gay’.

Any term used to describe Autism has become a buzzword of choice, which has created a new definition in casual conversation. But it shouldn’t be considered harmless playground humour. This is starting to become almost the equivalent of a slur.

We need to stop speculating if someone is on the spectrum, unless they have declared an official, or self-diagnosis.

And this should include everyone, no matter how politically polarising they are. I’m no fan of Dominic Cummings, but it’s wrong to speculate on whether he is autistic when he’s not declared any such diagnosis himself.

One teacher described people on spectrum as being ‘cold’ and ‘a bit weird’ – another suggested I ‘suffer’ from autism

Because I’m open about my diagnosis, I am often asked to determine if others are on the spectrum.

Without medical qualifications, I’m in no place to even begin answering this question. People flippantly wonder if they are on spectrum, saying phrases like ‘everyone is a little autistic’, or ‘I think I have Aspergers’ (which is no longer a recognised diagnosis), or ‘I don’t like to go out’, as if ASD is the same as being a bit introverted or shy, and nothing else. It is a massive oversimplification, an incredible misunderstanding, and one that diminishes struggles like with social skills.

These remarks all rely on stereotypes; the discussion is then promptly forgotten about.

However, they have real effects on people like me. For example, women are usually diagnosed later in life, as autism is still viewed as a ‘male’ diagnosis.

It took me over three years to get my diagnosis. I was always viewed as ‘odd’, and at school struggled consistently with social skills, while my style of learning was different. One teacher, who I believe suspected I had ASD, would describe people on spectrum as being ‘cold’ and ‘a bit weird’ – despite me being sat in front of them.  Another suggested I ‘suffer’ from autism.

To be diagnosed finally meant I had a label, a reason why I struggled, and it meant I wasn’t just ‘quirky’. It gave me meaning.

But it didn’t necessarily make things easier. Job interviews are harder, thanks to misplaced beliefs about ASD. It’s taken as a fact that people on the spectrum can’t make eye contact – but autism is a spectrum, meaning some of us can. I’ve lost out on several job positions once I disclosed my diagnosis. 

When people ask me to guess whether someone else is autistic, it’s usually phrased as: ‘In your expert opinion, could this be the case?’

This is usually meant as something harmless; some genuinely are curious, sometimes acting out of concern over whether they should approach the friend who seems to be struggling.

I cannot diagnose people, but can answer some questions they may have from experience. I even run a blog about this, often sharing resources.

But speculation is unhelpful.

It’s based on stereotypes, lack of knowledge, and often falsehood from the internet.

Culturally, Autism has now been adapted far outside its original diagnostic definition. But to use casual, throwaway remarks like ‘He’s a bit Rain Man’, ‘They’re clearly on the spectrum’, or even ‘That’s so autistic’, undermines those who struggle or are discriminated against; it diminishes their experience.

Acceptance, rather than awareness, is needed, because this is incredibly harmful stereotyping. It needs to stop.

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source https://metro.co.uk/2020/02/22/stop-speculating-socially-awkward-people-autisticit-12234713/
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