There’s a lot of chat about the female orgasm and how to achieve it (likely because straight women continue to have the least satisfying sex out of everyone), but not so much when it comes to men’s climaxes.
There’s a common misconception that male orgasms are straightforward and simple. You have sex, men come, and that’s that.
But there’s plenty of room for exploration and improvement.
Men can try new things, see what works for them, and have all the mind-blowing orgasms they fancy.
Here are some things worth trying.
Edging
You’ve probably heard of edging, but if you haven’t got around to trying it, you definitely should.
Edging is the act of bringing yourself to the brink of orgasm and then backing off, over and over.
By staying in a heightened state of arousal, you can build the intensity of the orgasm when you finally let yourself go over the edge.
The longer you prolong your orgasm, the more intense it will be, and the longer it will last.
Many men also use edging to train themselves to last longer and prevent premature ejaculation.
Kerri Middleton, male sexual health and pleasure expert at Bathmate, tells Metro.co.uk: ‘Edging is getting right up to the point of orgasm but being able to stop just before and almost reset.
‘Some people will shut their eyes, block out what’s happening for 20 seconds and be able to carry on, whereas others find holding the penis firmly at the base for a moment gives them that breathing space to start again.
‘A lot of people worry about how long they last in bed and overthinking it makes it so much worse, edging means that even if they think they’re going to climax they get a ‘second wind’ (or even more) giving them a longer play session.’
Essentially, try getting close to the point of orgasm, pause, and start up again. It’s fun, promise.
Kegels
Yes, men should do kegel exercises too.
Strengthening these muscles can give you better control over ejaculation, allowing you to prolong sex, and can make your orgasms feel more intense. Plus, it improves bladder control, which is always a bonus.
So, how do you do them?
‘Next time you’re in the toilet, try to stop in the middle of urination,’ says Kerri. ‘This uses the pelvic floor muscles, and it’s precisely the same exercise as a penile Kegel.
‘Take some time to get used to flexing, and the strange feeling it can create, and you’ll be ready to begin for real.
‘For a full Kegel set, flex that muscle for about five seconds before relaxing, repeating about 10 times for a set.
‘While it’ll take you some time to be able to do a set, this should be a daily exercise, majorly building up your penile stamina over time.’
Prostate play
Make 2020 the year you stop being afraid of anal play.
You already know that the prostate has a load of nerve endings that can give you mind-blowing orgasms – make the most of it.
Try experimenting alone first to get comfortable. A finger or prostate massager paired with masturbation can be a good place to start.
Find your prostate two inches or so inside your anus, towards your scrotum, and see what sensations you like. Make sure to only use toys designed for anal play, with a flared base, and use lubrication.
Explore the perineum
If you’re not quite ready to get into anal territory, experiment with the perineum – the area between your anus and scrotum.
This bit is packed with nerve endings, too, and can be a great place to stroke or press during masturbation or sex with a partner.
Kerri recommends: ‘Have your partner apply pressure with their fingers while they stroke you.
‘As a bonus, your scrotum is right there, also packed with nerve endings, so you can play with your balls while stimulating your perineum.
‘The key is to experiment and find what feels good to you.’
Try cock rings
An easy one: invest in a cock ring that fits around the base of your penis to prolong sex and make your orgasm feel more intense.
You can take your pick from textured types, ones that vibrate, or your bog standard ring that acts to gently restrict blood flow our of your erection, making you harder for longer.
Multiple orgasms
No, people with penises aren’t able to have the exact sensation those with vaginas have when it comes to multiple orgasms.
But you can still have a lot of fun with coming multiple times in one sex session.
Kerri says: ‘It seems such a shame that most men go their whole lives with one short sticky orgasm, instead of being able to have back to back, mind shattering orgasms.
‘But the word is out, and multiple orgasms are possible for men. Orgasms are not dependant on ejaculation, and by training yourself in the art of ejaculatory control, you can have many intense, or sometimes even long and intense, orgasms.
‘Much of your success will be the training of your pelvic muscles. By flexing your pelvic muscles for long periods while having sex, you can stave off your ejaculation, essentially separating the acts of orgasm and ejaculation.’
The trick is understanding that orgasms aren’t dependent on ejaculation and not seeing ejaculation as the end of sex.
‘Multiple orgasms are really down to practice,’ says Kerri. ‘But don’t think orgasms only count if there’s ejaculation because that’s strictly not true. Ejaculation actually happens right at the very end of the orgasm and it’s the part that will close down your ability to reach these multiple orgasms.
‘If you can negotiate the orgasm without the ejaculation you’re on the right path for multiples.
‘Of course these orgasms are not the extreme levels of ecstasy people sometimes get from ejaculation, think milder but still extremely pleasurable. Think of it as building, the more of these smaller orgasms you can put together you’re heading for that final crescendo including ejaculation (all the fireworks and explosion feelings) – so building it up can be well worth it!
‘The best way to start to learn this is to use those kegel muscles and edging techniques, this will give you the control to be able to hold back a little bit before the point of ejaculation.
‘Concentrating on your breathing also helps to control the orgasm. Getting carried away means our bodies let go and you lose the discipline element. Take a second to refocus your breathing and you’ll find you regain the hold on the orgasm.’
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source https://metro.co.uk/2020/02/07/six-things-men-can-try-better-orgasms-12193937/
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