Are you even a real person if you’ve never walked down an empty road and pretended that it’s a runway?
Ever since I was 15, I wanted to be a model. Call me vacuous, but I was obsessed with the elegance and drama of fashion week. It gave me everything and more.
Now that I am a signed model I can verify that the industry is just as, if not more, outrageous than you think it is.
It’s full of people that stress over the length of shirt cuff as if it’s going to finalise the terms of our post-Brexit trade agreement – and I love it for that.
Despite the criticism it faces – much of which is reasonable – I have found the modelling and fashion industry validating. It has improved my body confidence and allowed me to feel more at home with myself than I have ever felt before.
I’ve gone from walking down those long roads pretending that I was about to walk out onto the runway in a hot two piece, to actually being backstage, sucked into a corset and pushed into the lights of London Fashion Week. The allure of it was something I knew I needed, but didn’t know it would be attainable.
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As a trans person, I often feel like our opportunities are few and far between – and if we are chosen for something, it’s only a tokenistic gesture.
It feels like brands want to use our bodies and our experiences to capitalise on our message and the communities we belong to – just for a season.
But my time in the industry has taught me that fashion is changing for the better. From runway stars such as Andrea Pejić and Hari Nef, to shows like Opening Ceremony and Marco Marco at NYFW, they’re showcasing queer and trans bodies without shouting about it.
They’re making it a spectacle, but for the right reasons.
Being part of a creative machine that pushes boundaries and extends creativity to its absolute limits has made me realise the true beauty of being trans.
It allowed me to redefine what is ‘conventionally attractive’ and realise that transness is desirable, when we’re so often told otherwise.
It showed me that my body, the way that it differs from cisgender (those whose sex at birth is the same as their gender) people’s and how unique it is, doesn’t have to fit into any beauty ideals.
Don’t get me wrong, London Fashion Week – and others around the world – can focus too much on what an ‘ideal body’ is. They subscribe too often to eurocentric beauty standards, which is something we need to see change.
But in my view, fashion allows us to elevate and sculpt our bodies into anything we can envision. It allows us to truly express ourselves in a way that has no limits or boundaries.
It fills me with euphoria that in this realm I can be celebrated for being me and feel beautiful and happy in my own body. I’m also grateful to be given a platform from which I can represent trans and non-binary bodies.
I have been with CRUMB modelling agency for nearly two years on their non-binary board, which is one of the first of its kind in the UK. I felt instantly at home.
It allowed me to be seen and represent myself authentically, while still being able to achieve the same goals and have the same aspirations that my cisgendered counterparts had.
I was listened to and respected by an industry that often appears like it doesn’t care about wellbeing.
Fashion and modelling often gets derided in over-simplified statements. People can call it unintelligent or misogynist, and sometimes it can be, but I have found that it appreciates my beauty, strength and message.
Through it we are reminded that bodies come in all shapes, sizes, races and abilities. Seeing these attributes celebrated does more for us and our communities’ self confidence than we give it credit for.
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source https://metro.co.uk/2020/02/20/model-done-wonders-body-confidence-12273655/
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