‘Are you sure this is your passport, ma’am?’ the passport controller asked me while writing something down on her computer.
With a large amount of anxiety about what was to come, I nodded and said yes, it certainly was my passport.
She frowned a little in confusion, then said, while staring intently at me: ‘This passport says “male” but you’re obviously female’.
The officer was right. But having to explain that my documents didn’t accurately reflect who I am seemed a bit counter productive.
Instead, I tried to explain as best I could that I was transgender, which is why the passport didn’t match what I looked like.
She stared at me blankly, as if she’d never heard of a transgender person before and the next 20 minutes went into me attempting to explain what being transgender was, while the line behind me was getting increasingly long and frustrated at the hold up.
I could hear people talking and I knew it was about me.
Out of desperation and with a flight to Israel to catch, I decided to name drop Dana International, the Israeli trans woman who won Eurovision in 1998, in the hope that the passport controller would somehow understand what was going on here.
It worked and finally my passport was silently handed back and I was gestured to go through. Peering at the line behind me, who now all knew I was transgender whether I liked it or not, they all stared at me as I disappeared through the gates.
This instance, along with many others, are things I’ve had to endure simply because I am transgender, and for a long time unable to change my documents to accurately reflect who I am.
I’ve often had to argue with airport staff who refused to believe me and out myself to anyone that could hear. Having to defend your right to travel is a terrible way to start a trip and something most people don’t have to worry about.
Eventually, after about two years, I was able to get my passport details changed to say ‘f’ rather than ‘m’, and I’ve had a lot less trouble since.
But for transgender people who don’t have such documents to reflect who they are, or transgender people who are gender non-conforming or don’t pass, traveling can be a gruelling ordeal.
There are many examples of trans people being refused flights, being detained or being specifically targeted at security for being transgender.
Many are also misgendered repeatedly, which has happened to me and many friends who are trans, and is an appalling and humiliating situation to be in.
More extreme cases also include people having to show their genitals to airport staff in order to be allowed to board a plane.
Sadly, all of this remains a constant worry that still causes real anxiety when I travel, even 10 years into my transition – and that’s just at the airport.
Every time I go somewhere overseas I have to consider whether I am going to be safe as transgender person. There are countries that I wouldn’t even consider traveling to due to hostile attitudes towards people like me and with good reason.
When I was invited to Russia a few years ago for a Pride festival, I was seriously concerned that I wouldn’t be afforded a visa if they did a background check on me – let alone about what it would be like to stay in a country with strong anti-queer laws and hostile attitudes. Thankfully, in the end I was granted entry and we documented our trip.
For trans people that don’t fit into society’s narrow stereotypes of what ‘women and men are supposed to look like’, they are at a much higher risk of discrimination, harassment and violence.
Many have spoken out about their experiences, including artist Travis Alabanza, who has described horrendous and continued verbal and physical while travelling both here and overseas.
So when I have to travel for work or want to go on holiday, the first thing I do is Google how safe it is there for people like me. It has definitely shaped how and where I travel, or how prepared I am in case something were to happen.
It can be really tough and feels incredibly unfair that I have to manage my safety because people don’t accept me for who I am. Most people don’t have to worry about whether they will be safe because of who they’re attracted to, or because of what they look like.
It’s a privilege no one should take for granted.
While this might seem like one of those ‘far away’ problems that could easily be solved by ‘not traveling’ — which I’ve actually had people say to me and, besides the point, is really uncompassionate – the UK is far from safe for queer people.
With hate crimes against transgender people rising by 37 per cent last year, and homophobic crimes in London increasing by 55 per cent in the past five years, it’s clear that homophobia and transphobia isn’t just a ‘them’ problem, but also a ‘us’ problem.
This makes me think twice before going to places in the UK on my own as a trans person, and definitely makes me avoid certain places, streets or situations that I think I might be unsafe in. It also makes me feel unsafe at events that I’m hosting or speaking at, as I’ve experienced harassment, haggling and abuse before I’ve even started.
So next time you’re going somewhere, whether that’s traveling abroad or in the UK, think about how you can make those spaces safer for others. Think about how you’re going to stand up for someone if they face harassment and abuse. Because we need you to speak up for us. We’re busy as it is, just trying to survive.
MORE: Marvel teases their first transgender character is coming to The Eternals
source https://metro.co.uk/2020/01/15/travel-transgender-difficult-humiliating-12056426/
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