It was a group photograph at school that made me realise I was on the petite side.
Throughout primary and high school, I had always been photographed in the same position; sat on the front bench, at the end.
Tall kids at the back, average kids in the middle and small kids at the front – that’s how it went.
I tend to assume a similar position in group photographs now that I’m an adult too, taking my usual place in front of my taller friends.
That’s because I’m 4ft 11in – four inches shorter than the average UK woman.
In the grand scheme of things, four inches isn’t dramatically different to the UK female average of 5ft 3in. Especially because, as a petite woman, I favour heels to narrow the gap – every inch counts.
But, of course, small terminology can be negative. For example, you’re ‘made to feel small’ or people ‘look down’ on you.
Throughout my life, I’ve had many people inform me that I am, in fact, short. To which I always wonder how they expect me to reply. Do they believe they’re telling me something I’m not already aware of? Usually, I just smile, and agree that I’m petite.
It’s curious because commenting on specific aspects of somebody’s physical appearance (such as weight) is considered impolite. But commenting on a person’s height seems to be acceptable. Worse though, is when people think it’s OK to physically pick you up – which used to happen to me all the time in nightclubs when I was younger.
For as long as I’ve been alive, people have aspired to be tall. As a society, we’ve worshipped models whose legs are probably the same height as me.
Thankfully, the body positivity movement is making it more physically acceptable to have a leg inseam length around 20-inches rather than 30.
It was the school days that were a little more of a challenge. Bullies had a field day when it came to material for predictable short-themed insults, as you can imagine.
But I don’t think I had it much worse than anyone else. After all, bullies will pick on any quirk about a person, so I learnt not to take it personally.
My mum also instilled a sense of confidence in me from a young age that helped me shrug off any negative comments about my height. A fiercely independent single mother who carved her career in the competitive world of journalism, any insecurity about her height – which is the same as mine – never held her back, in either life or career. And she was determined it wouldn’t for me either.
She always made me feel 6ft tall, and this sense of self-worth came in useful later too. I once had a date tell me I’d be ‘more attractive and thinner’ if I were taller. Suffice to say, things didn’t work out between us.
My height has also meant I’ve had some interesting experiences. As a journalist on my local paper, I was once sent to interview the tallest man in Europe (7ft 7in!). Both he and I saw the funny side of our differences and the contrast made for some brilliant photographs.
I’ve learned take my ID with me wherever I go, as well. Despite turning 30 next year, I’ve lost count of the number of times I’ve been ID’d – even for 15 certificate films at the cinema (Naturally, this must be down to my youthful looks, as opposed to my short stature…)!
I’d be lying if I didn’t say that there have been times when I’ve wished I was taller. I don’t even want those extra four inches that would make me average height, but an inch or two wouldn’t go amiss.
It would certainly make certain things easier – shopping for trousers, getting on and off bar stools in a semi-ladylike manner, and reaching those high supermarket shelves! My poor toes also hurt from years of wearing high heels.
However, over time, I’ve grown (excuse the pun) to embrace my shortness. I’m a positive person by nature, and a short person by stature, so I naturally like to look up, rather than down!
My label doesn’t define me and it certainly hasn’t held me back in life. Physically, I might be small, but I always think big when it comes to my life and my career.
I just hope being short means I’ll still get ID’d in my thirties!
Labels
Labels is an exclusive series that hears from individuals who have been labelled – whether that be by society, a job title, or a diagnosis. Throughout the project, writers will share how having these words ascribed to them shaped their identity — positively or negatively — and what the label means to them.
If you would like to get involved please email jess.austin@metro.co.uk
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source https://metro.co.uk/2020/01/09/im-short-but-always-felt-tall-11223051/
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