Okay, so you’ve already asked and answered the 10 questions that reveal whether your relationship has lost its spark.
Hopefully you passed with flying colours.
Now let’s assess whether – spark-less or not – your relationship is a good ‘un.
Gary W. Lewandowski Jr, a professor at Monmouth University in New Jersey, came up with a list of 15 questions to test if your relationship is a wonderful partnership or one doomed to fail.
The questions are a relationship version of the Keltner List, a way to assess whether a baseball player should be in the Hall of Fame.
Gary explains it’s not intended to be super in-depth and exhaustive, but a list of questions that ‘anyone can quickly answer’. That being said, the questions are based on researched findings on what contributes to a healthy relationship, so they’re pretty reliable for giving you a sense of whether your long-term relationship has a chance to last.
There’s no definitive scoring system, but obviously you want to say ‘yes’ to as many of the questions as possible. Don’t lie to yourself – deep down you’ll know if a relationship ticks off these big requirements.
Here are the questions in a quick list, in case you want to print ’em out and stick them to the fridge. No judgement here.
15 questions to ask about your relationship:
- Does your partner make you a better person, and do you do the same for them?
- Are you and your partner both comfortable with sharing feelings, relying on each other, being close, and able to avoid worrying about the other person leaving?
- Do you and your partner accept each other for who you are, without trying to change each other?
- When disagreements arise, do you and your partner communicate respectfully and without contempt or negativity?
- Do you and your partner share decision-making, power and influence in the relationship?
- Is your partner your best friend, and are you theirs?
- Do you and your partner think more in terms of “we” and “us,” rather than “you” and “I”?
- Would you and your partner trust each other with the passwords to social media and bank accounts?
- Do you and your partner have good opinions of each other – without having an overinflated positive view?
- Do your close friends, as well as your partner’s, think you have a great relationship that will stand the test of time?
- Is your relationship free of red flags like cheating, jealousy and controlling behaviour?
- Do you and your partner share the same values when it comes to politics, religion, the importance of marriage, the desire to have kids (or not) and how to parent?
- Are you and your partner willing to sacrifice your own needs, desires and goals for each other (without being a doormat)?
- Do you and your partner both have agreeable and emotionally stable personalities?
- Are you and your partner sexually compatible?
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source https://metro.co.uk/2020/01/24/quiz-ask-15-questions-check-relationship-doomed-12117390/
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