Look, we don’t want to suggest that supermarkets are deliberately making their products sound rude to get everyone’s attention. That would be quite the accusation.
Surely it’s just a coincidence that Asda has launched a ‘love sausage’ a year on from M&S unveiling their romantic meaty girth to the public. We’re certain that their choice to curve a phallic bit of meat into a heart shape has not a jot of innuendo or puerile humour.
They just love the idea of you cramming their meat into your orifices on a romantic evening in.
Today Asda launched what they call the Love Heart Cumberland Sausage, which is essentially a lengthy sausage shaped to look a bit like a heart.
Not an anatomically correct heart, mind you. Just a vague heart shape, which could easily be interpreted as a pair of testicles or a bum.
For just £3.70 you can get your filthy paws on four of these heart-shaped Cumberland sausages, which are also included in the three for £10 offer.
Asda describes their creation as both a ‘Valentine’s Day treat’ and a food launched ‘perfectly in time for Winter Love Island this weekend’. Because what says romance more than sharing a large sausage with your significant other as you watch single people judge each other based on their looks?
Asda says the sausage’s flavours of thyme, sage, nutmeg and cayenne pepper offer a juicy flavour-packed sausage with a slight crispness, and recommends that you ‘add it to the evening for the perfect cosy night in: couple up with your bae to watch the first Winter Love Island this January… or, if you’re a singleton, share it with your BFF’.
They add: ‘It’s an absolute sort!’
Yes. Indeed.
Asda’s Product Developer Amanda Hill said: ‘Nothing says ‘I love you’ more than a novelty-shaped sausage. Novelty products are always well received by our customers, who love to serve-up something special, and we expect the Love Heart Cumberland Pork Sausages to be no different.
‘Moving into 2020, we want to continue giving our customers what they want; creating innovative products that deliver on quality and price.’
If you are planning to surprise your loved one with a romantic fry up or bangers and mash, perhaps heart-shaped sausages are the way to go.
You could also go for cutting a heart-shape out of toast (a waste of crusts, but we won’t judge) or perhaps drawing a heart with ketchup on every meal. Forget the engagement ring or flowers, this is what people really want.
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source https://metro.co.uk/2020/01/09/asda-wants-eat-love-sausage-weekend-12031300/
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