I am 32 and have just become the father of an angel; a baby boy that my wife and I are so happy to have in our life.
Having a baby has been the most wonderful moment in my life. But I worry about whether he will be labelled like I was as a child?
I am Roma and growing up I faced prejudice because of this.
‘We don’t want to play with you.’
‘Have you stayed in the sun too long?
Or the best one: ‘Oh, he’s such a good boy! He’s not like the rest of them’
When I moved to London from Romania in 2012, my original label was a replaced with a new one: immigrant.
And instead of not-belonging in my own country, I now didn’t belong in my new home.
I had so much hope when I first moved to the UK; I was eager to explore and build a life here. Yet I was made to feel like I didn’t fit in. Gradually I learnt to suppress this feeling and try and forget.
Soon after my arrival I started working in construction, which I have to say, was not my dream.
It was here that I encountered one of the many stereotypes surrounding immigrants: that we are desperate for work and we’ll do anything for it.
One day my supervisor asked me and my colleagues – all migrants – if we wanted to do some overtime over the weekend, asking me specifically. With shy English, I said: ‘if you really need me, yes!’
Immediately the supervisor mimicked ‘Yes! Please!’ and both he and the manager started laughing at me.
For me, saying yes was more about showing respect and commitment to the team and my job. For them, it was a power dynamic they enjoyed. It felt like they wanted us to beg for extra work.
You could almost see them thinking: ‘they are here just for the money and they will work 24/7 for that. They are dribbling like thirsty dogs waiting for me to throw them some hours.’
From that moment on I made sure I did not give in to their expectations of me. I wanted them to know I was working overtime because they needed me, not the other way around.
The longer I worked in construction, the easier it became. But right when I started to feel confident and strong something else struck me like lightening: Brexit.
I was overseas when the referendum results were announced and I couldn’t believe the news. It all became clear: no matter how confident I am I will always carry this label with me.
It was confirmed just a few days later when I was driving a foreign plated vehicle back in the UK. A guy overtook me, stopping and completely blocking the traffic.
‘What the f**k are you still doing here? Go back to your country!’
It made me feel so angry. I’d been learning English through secondary school, all the way through to university and I came to this country full of hope, trying my best to be a good worker, colleague and citizen… and this is what I get?
After that people talked about us like we were cockroaches, spreading everywhere and taking over everything. Just like the insects, people were treating us like they had every right to step on us.
You may think immigrants are ‘scroungers’ – a name we’re so often given – but I have to ask, are we really?
All the jobs I have had in the UK, I have had them because no one else asked for them and because I was the right person for the role.
There are many foreign people getting high paid jobs in Romania, including British people, but you don’t hear us shouting.
On the contrary, we appreciate their efforts to come and support our economy with their expertise and knowledge.
You probably feel sorry for me now and think that the picture is pretty ugly. Well it is.
I’m scared that once we leave the EU the man who felt entitled to harass me in 2016 will feel even more emboldened and do more than just shout abuse at me.
Throughout my life I have faced prejudice because of my labels and I am still fighting.
However, at the end of this, I am still grateful to the UK. It has offered me opportunities, built my confidence and given me the chance to meet and learn from people from all over the world.
But, more than anything, it has taught me there is nothing wrong with being Roma, being a migrant, working in a car wash or a construction site. It is all about being a decent human being and respecting others.
People should remember our souls have the same colour. We eat the same food, dress the same clothes and we should be speaking the same language – the language of love and compassion.
Labels
Labels is an exclusive series that hears from individuals who have been labelled – whether that be by society, a job title, or a diagnosis. Throughout the project, writers will share how having these words ascribed to them shaped their identity — positively or negatively — and what the label means to them.
If you would like to get involved please email jess.austin@metro.co.uk
MORE: My Label and Me: I got married and divorced before I turned 28
MORE: My Label and Me: I have 10 children, but I refuse to let motherhood define me
MORE: My Label and Me: You may think I’m ‘loud’ but that won’t shut me up
source https://metro.co.uk/2019/12/26/my-label-and-me-im-scared-to-be-an-immigrant-in-the-uk-after-brexit-10552839/
0 Comments