Being in debt is common (an estimated 8.3 million people in the UK are unable to pay off debts or household bills).
And yet there still seems to be so much shame around admitting you’re in debt.
There’s ‘good’ acceptable debt, of course – having a mortgage or paying back student loans is considered pretty normal and is read as a side-effect of doing something responsible and adult.
But those other types of debt, from taking out a payday loan to just not having enough money to live off, are often shrouded in secrecy and embarrassment.
Why is it that talking about debt feels so deeply shameful?
The short answer is pretty simple: We live in a capitalist society in which wealth is widely considered the goal. Thus struggling with money or just not having as much is a sign you’ve ‘failed’ in the system under which we all operate.
Despite causes of debt often being out of our control, owing money feels like a deeply shameful personal failing.
That causes issues to spiral.
Helen Undy, chief executive of the Money and Mental Health Policy Institute tells Metro.co.uk: ‘As a society, we’re getting better at talking about our mental health, but there is still a huge taboo around being in debt and having other money problems.
‘Too often people feel that it’s a personal failing if they’re struggling with money, and feel too ashamed to open up to family or friends to get help.
‘The result is that people often carry this burden alone, which can cause their financial problems to escalate, and can also leave them feeling overwhelmed or unable to see a way out. Sometimes, this combination of factors can even contribute to people becoming suicidal.’
A lot of the shame comes from social factors. There’s a lingering idea that if you’re not well off or owe a lot of money, you’re to blame.
It’s far easier to criticise the individual than to consider completely restructuring society, after all, and it’s soothing to tell ourselves that we’ll never end up poor because we’ll make the correct decisions.
As a result, those who struggle with money are at the bottom of the social ladder. Others may not want to help in fear that they’ll somehow ‘catch’ the shame that comes from being rejected by society.
Professor Nigel Nicholson explains: ‘This is a special kind of shame associated with status and reputation. Lacking the ties of supportive sharing community that our ancestors enjoyed we are in an era of fake meritocracy where the have-nots come to fear they others believe them deserving their diminished status – the old deserving poor fallacy.’
Of course, not everyone is ashamed of debt.
The ‘good’ debt we mentioned earlier is prized, along with debt otherwise wealthy people hold. If someone has outside signs of wealth but happens to owe a lot of money, they can escape the social tarring that comes with poverty.
Plus, if you’re the type of person who feels entirely confident in yourself and in your right to be where you are, you can get away with racking up debt without any sense of guilt or failure.
‘Not everyone does feel shame about being in debt,’ says Dr Barry Cripps. ‘Some people max out on five or six credit cards amounting to thousands. Others do feel uncomfortable about being in debt.
‘Maybe it depends on personality but more than that about parental upbringing. These feelings about debt are certainly not classed based – look at the huge debts rolled up in the past by the aristocracy.
‘Shame levels are probably related to psychopathy; The psychopath doesn’t care at all what people think about them and has little shame or guilt. The other end of the psychopathy scale is tender-minded and empathetic.’
So that’s why debt can feel so shameful. What can we do about it?
The first step, as with any other taboo, is opening up the conversation and showing everyone that debt doesn’t have to be kept silent. The more people shout about their debt, the more we’ll challenge those ideas of what someone with debt is like, and make it clear that debt can happen to anyone.
Helen would also like banks to get involved when they see someone is struggling with money, and to step in so the pressure isn’t on the individual to ask for help in crisis.
‘Given the difficulties many people face in talking about debt, we’d like to see banks do more to spot when people are struggling financially and to offer help,’ she says. ‘Something as simple as a bank checking in with a text message if someone’s financial data shows a sudden drop in income, or signposting them to debt advice, could make all the difference.’
Debt Month
This article is part of a month-long focus in November all about debt.
Scary word, we know, but we're hoping if we tackle this head on we'll be able to reduce the shame around money struggles and help everyone improve their understanding of their finances.
Throughout November we'll be publishing first-person accounts of debt, features, advice, and explainers. You can read everything from the month on the Debt Month tag.
If you have a story to share, a topic you want us to cover, or a question that needs answering, get in touch at MetroLifestyleTeam@Metro.co.uk.
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source https://metro.co.uk/2019/11/08/still-much-shame-around-debt-11023758/
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