Unplanned pregnancies can be scary. Especially when it comes to telling your partner.
It can be hard if you’ve never spoken about it happening, and therefore you have no idea how they’ll react.
And even harder if you already know the answer – but it’s not the answer that you want.
The best outcome you could possibly wish for is a supportive partner who will be there for you no matter what – but sadly that’s not always the case.
We spoke to six women about how their partners reacted to their unplanned pregnancies – and here’s what they said.
My partner left me
‘When I told my partner I was expecting a second baby soon after the first, they left me, and haven’t had anything to do with my babies since.
‘They never paid anything, haven’t met them, and I struggled because I couldn’t understand why he couldn’t love my children.
‘I felt lonely, scared and upset – as if I was being accused of doing something wrong.’
My baby was the result of an affair with a married man
‘My second daughter was a surprise. She was the result of an affair with a married man.
‘I called him, and he flipped out and started telling people I had a revolving door, I slept around and that the baby wasn’t his.
‘So I called his wife. He still doesn’t know that it was me that called her.
‘It took three years to get the paternity test to prove he was the dad. My daughter is 24 now, and they do have a relationship.’
We were just friends
‘My first pregnancy was unplanned and I wasn’t dating the guy. We were friends, so I told him I was pregnant upon finding out and he said: “Well that sucks”, and walked out.
‘I only heard from him a year and a half later when I sued him for child support.
‘My baby is almost nine now. He and his dad are friends, but there is no parent-child bond at all.’
I was on the pill and using condoms
‘I had a really strong feeling I was pregnant, but it happened while on the pill and using condoms – so I convinced myself I was being silly and that there was such a slim chance, there was no way… but my body felt different.
‘So I took my pill break and waited for the withdrawal blood, but it never came.
‘I took a test 24 hours after my period was meant to come, and saw 2-3 weeks pregnant flashing on the test.
‘I wasn’t surprised, because deep down I knew, but I was shocked given the number of precautions I take. I knew immediately I wasn’t going to go through with the pregnancy, as I’d discussed this a lot with my partner.
‘Telling him was okay. We were both shocked, but because we’d had that conversation and open communication, it was more about chatting about the emotional aspect of it, rather than the practical.
‘After a couple of lengthy & heavy conversations about how we felt now that I was pregnant, rather than just talking about it hypothetically, we decided to not go through with it as we’d always planned.
‘It was much harder for me to make that decision than I thought it would be – only because when it’s a hypothetical, it seems easy.
‘But when it’s happening, your hormones are all over the place and you’re so emotionally invested in your partner… It made it a much more emotionally difficult decision to make than I expected.
‘But it was 100% the right thing to do in my situation, and I don’t regret it at all.’
My partner was over the moon
‘My partner was over the moon when I told him. He was with his son when I found out and I called him because I was a wreck.
‘He said he’ll be home as soon as he can. I was crying sat on the bed because we’d discussed we’d wait until we’d bought a house so I didn’t think he’d be happy, but he held my hands with tears telling me I’m ruining the moment because he was happy.
‘He was amazing throughout my pregnancy, except for turning up hungover for the 12-week scan. My mental health was really bad during my pregnancy but he was there for me.
‘I was also on bed rest for three weeks towards the end due to complications. He visited me every day, bless him.
‘I had to have therapy sessions and he knew they would wipe me out and put me on edge. He had a little self-care routine ready for me when I got home, which was sweet.’
He went white and threw up
‘My pregnancy was completely unplanned. I was originally told I couldn’t have children naturally due to previous abdominal surgeries, and so I expected to go through IVF in the future and focus on my career instead.
‘But six months into a new relationship, I fell pregnant. Neither of us was expecting it to happen and were both shocked.
‘I’d only taken the test because I was a week late on my period, and my boobs had been hurting. My periods were pretty irregular anyway so I wasn’t too worried but decided to do one – expecting to see a negative result. However a big fat positive showed up within five seconds.
‘I didn’t know what to do so I just called my partner to come upstairs while I was still sat on the toilet and passed him the test. He went white and threw up.
‘At first, he was adamant he didn’t want to keep the baby because he felt he wasn’t ready, but he was supportive of me and said he would be there for me whatever I decided.
‘I decided to keep the baby, and I am so glad that I did. Four months later and we are expecting a little boy, who we are both absolutely in love with – and the dad is so glad I didn’t decide to get an abortion.’
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source https://metro.co.uk/2019/11/26/six-women-open-up-about-how-their-partners-reacted-to-their-unplanned-pregnancies-11221461/
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