It’s cold. It’s dark. The twinkly lights are already up in town, we’re surely just hours away from hearing Mariah Carey’s All I Want for Christmas playing on the radio.
The lead-up to the most important turkey meal of the year can be a difficult time for socialising. All of a sudden, everyone’s trying to book in a pre-Christmas catch-up over a mug of mulled wine, but our diaries are more crammed than ever. It can be seriously overwhelming, and it might even be making you feel a little Grinch-y.
So, how do you get through this hectic time of year with all your friendships intact by the time we start a new decade?
Gather round the fireplace, let’s talk it through. Here are a few things you could do right now to settle your social life down a little, and get through this frantic festive time.
Book in some ‘you’ time to minimise the overwhelm
If one peek at your diary for the next month makes you want to hyperventilate, you may need to chill out with all the festivities. It’s perfectly OK – in fact, very sensible – to book in some free time for you to just do you, at home, by yourself.
If you’re feeling a little overwhelmed by social engagements at this time of year, simply stop saying yes to everything. It’s going to be OK, people will forgive you if you’re not present at every single social event of the season.
Respect your boundaries, especially if you’re an introvert. Give yourself permission to chill when needed. You can explain it to people if you like, or you can simply RSVP as ‘not attending’ to the events you’d like to skip. Sit down and block out some time to stay at home, put on a face mask, order Deliveroo and mainline some decent TV. Actually put it in your diary, so you don’t accidentally book something in that involves actual human interaction. Reserve a little time to make like a bear and hibernate.
With all these Christmas and NYE parties coming up, you’ll be grateful later that you made time to conserve a bit of energy. Protect yourself a little, the overwhelm is real.
Circulate a Doodle poll to simplify things
Is it just me, or is it virtually impossible to find a single date that all your friends are free for a group catch-up? It can be seriously painful, trying to coordinate a bunch of people – and sometimes, you look away from your phone for an hour and return to 72 missed WhatsApp messages just trying to sort it out.
Going back and forth trying to pick a date to hang out, when everyone is so busy, is frustrating, exhausting and boring. It can even make you dread seeing your mates, which is not ideal.
May I recommend taking the lead a little and circulating a Doodle poll to everyone concerned? You might also wish to remind people how to use one correctly, because most people get them wrong. You’re meant to indicate any date you can be available, not just tick a couple of your favourite days and be done.
You should fill it in promptly and get on with the business of choosing where you want to meet and what you want to eat. Be decisive about this, and suggest somewhere easy for most people to get to.
If you can’t find a day when everyone is available, split up the group and do several catch-ups. Sometimes the perfect group outing is just not possible. Your friendships will survive it.
Make peace with not seeing everyone before an arbitrary festive date
You may not be able to see every person you like before the end of the year – and that’s OK. Santa will still bring you presents, and you still get to have roast potatoes on 25 December.
There is no real reason why you have to squeeze so many social interactions into the final weeks of the year. We all just arbitrarily decide that we absolutely must see as many people as possible, and it’s all a bit mad.
2020 is just around the corner, and there’ll be plenty of time for catching up then, too. It’s not 1999, we’re not planning for the Y2K bug here; there’s truly no reason why you can’t postpone some of your socialising till January or February.
Keep in touch in other ways so you still feel connected
If you don’t end up seeing everyone in the lead-up to Christmas, find other ways to invest in your cherished friendships.
You could be an absolute old-school cutie and send them Christmas cards, if that’s your style. You could send them voice memos of you singing carols and telling them your best gossip. You could just do the easiest thing and stay in touch by regular text, WhatsApp or actual phone call. And of course, you’ve got to like all their festive selfies on social media.
If you’re not going to physically hang out with a person this Christmas or New Year, and you’re actually quite fond of them, simply find an alternative way to be present in their lives. You could even use Christmas as an excuse to be sentimental and remind someone what they mean to you. It’s as good a time as ever to tell a person that they matter.
Oh, and why not be extra nice, just because? One of the loveliest things about Christmas is that people tend to feel a little surge in generosity. So, in the spirit of any cast member in the romantic comedy Love Actually, reach out to people who might be lonely, might need friends, or mightn’t otherwise feel very jolly.
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source https://metro.co.uk/2019/11/21/how-to-manage-your-social-life-in-the-hectic-christmas-period-11182954/
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