Few things fill a person with dread more than an unexpected phone call.
Texting, Whatsapping, Slacking, and DM-ing have become so recognised as the go-to means of communication that a phone call feels like it can only be a bad thing – a medical emergency, a situation so serious it needs to be discussed over the phone, a telling-off, a scary monster calling to say they’re outside/you’re going to die.
It doesn’t matter if it’s from a family member, someone from work, a friend, or an unknown number. A phone call is so anxiety-inducing that the recipient is caught between either silently waiting for the ringing to stop or experiencing the stomach-sinking adrenaline rush of answering with a ‘hey, what’s up?’.
No wonder Ofcom has found that phone calls are dying out, with one in four of us making fewer than five calls on our mobile phones a month. I’d guess that those five calls are for the doctor’s offices and hair salons that refuse to allow online booking.
But in spite of all the horror and misery around phone calls, it would be a huge shame if we stopped making calls entirely.
Phone calls can be a truly wonderful way to connect – something that’s hugely important considering the epidemic of loneliness that’s reaching every corner of society.
There’s something about a phone conversation that inspires honesty and openness in a way texting and messaging doesn’t.
There’s no time to edit your responses to make you seem like you’ve got your sh*t together. If someone asks you a question over the phone, you do eventually have to answer – and they’ll be able to hear in your tone whether you’re upset, pissed off, or tired.
It can even be a more honest type of communication than talking IRL. Not having to look someone in the eye can embolden you to say things that would feel too awkward or painful face-to-face – that’s why you’ll often find phone calls with a friend turning into impromptu therapy sessions.
Phone calls are intimate. They’re a way to dive inside another person’s life while they’re comfortable in their own environment, allowing social interaction for anyone who’s not able to leave the house or can’t afford to go out for drinks and a catchup. They let friendship span across miles and countries without the need for expensive train tickets and put-off plans.
Think of the times before texting was so common, when a phone call with someone you fancied would drag out into hours of late-night laughter, a walk to the bus stop was filled with speedy recaps of your day, and you’d call your mum to verbally guide you through how on earth you roast a chicken in an oven that’s quite clearly too small.
The trick to turning phone calls from something of horror into an important moment is simple: plan your calls in advance.
We need to reclaim phone calls as a vital form of connection in a time when our mental health is – generally speaking – in dire condition and we desperately need to just talk.
Get rid of the anxiety of a mystery phone call by agreeing to chat with a friend, a partner, a parent at a set day and time for as long as you can. Free yourself from the worry of what needs to be spoken about, the desire to check your phone to see what time it is, and the anxiety of your phone’s battery running out midway through (if you plan in advance, you’ll have a charger handy and be sat close enough to an outlet).
We need human connection, and when highly edited messaging isn’t enough, and face-to-face conversations feel too daunting, time-consuming, or difficult, phone calls are the answer.
MORE: Doctors should prescribe technology to tackle loneliness, report urges
MORE: Sainsbury’s is testing out talking tables to combat loneliness
MORE: Why you should hold your iPhone in your right hand to make phone calls
source https://metro.co.uk/2019/10/10/phone-calls-are-a-powerful-form-of-connection-but-only-if-theyre-planned-in-advance-10894254/
0 Comments