Parenting is pretty much a learn-on-the-job kind of gig. You can read up on it as much as you want or talk to people but it might not prepare you for everything.
So one dad-of-three wrote to his past self about the things he ought to know.
Ted Gonder from Chicago, Illinois, wrote an open letter to his 24-year-old childless self about how to be a supportive partner during the ‘becoming parents’ phase.
The post immediately went viral, racking up 70,000 likes.
While past Ted won’t benefit from the wealth of knowledge, other partners were able to take heed of the words of advice and tagged one another in the comments.
Point number one on Ted’s list read: ‘Wifey carried baby IN her belly for nine months. So you carry baby ON your belly for nine months every chance you get.
‘Not only does it help her recover but it bonds you to your kid more than imaginable.’
He continued: ‘Wifey is breastfeeding and – while beautiful and fulfilling for her – it’s exhausting. So you change EVERY diaper you can. From diaper #1 onward.
‘You will get over the grossness fast. And you will prevent imbalances and resentment in the relationship; in fact, when all your wife’s friends are complaining about how absent and unsupportive their husbands are, your wife will be bragging about you.’
Ted added that it’s also important to bring her decaffeinated coffee in the morning as she may be tired from a lack of sleep and will need something to perk her up.
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He also acknowledged that pregnancy is a precarious time and may leave the mum with body image issues.
His advice went on: ‘Tell her she is beautiful and help her see that in the moments when she is feeling most self-critical and hopeless about her body.
‘Remind her of times when she achieved goals in the past. Remind her she is a superhero. She literally just moved all her organs around and gained 20 kilograms to give you a child that will be a gift to you for the rest of your life.
‘Help her see past her body image issues and stay focused on a positive goal, one day at a time.’
The sweet letter to other dads resonated with many as Ted encouraged them to share it among themselves.
‘Remember your job is to be her rock through all of this,’ he reminded them. ‘So toughen up and keep perspective when her tongue is sharper than you know her best self intends.
‘Normal will return soon and you want her to be grateful that you kept it together when she wasn’t, not resentful and disappointed that you hijacked her emotions by making her problems yours.’
Let’s hope other dads are taking note.
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source https://metro.co.uk/2019/10/27/husband-shares-five-things-he-does-to-help-his-wife-that-he-wishes-he-knew-sooner-10991991/
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