A skin-tight, butt-less Buzz Lightyear suit. A low-cut leotard with thigh-high boots that somehow pays homage to the child-devouring Pennywise. An Instagram feed flooded with ‘sexy’ Joker outfits.
When shopping for a Halloween costume, you’ll have noticed the tendency for women’s costumes to be unnecessarily sexed-up. Nothing is off-limits. Adult minion? You got it. Risqué Margaret Thatcher? The costume exists.
Halloween has become a yearly memo that women should be dressed down to dress up. Sure, there’s nothing wrong with getting cheeky with your look, it just might not be for everybody. Let’s throw a few other options in there.
If you’re searching for a costume that’s not prefaced by the word ‘sexy’, try one of these…
The Tethered from Us
Remember the Halloween party scene in Mean Girls?
‘In the real world, Halloween is when kids dress up in costumes and beg for candy. In Girl World, Halloween is the one day a year when a girl can dress up like a total slut and no other girls can say anything else about it,’ says Lindsay Lohan’s character Cady Heron, before she arrives at the party in a genuinely scary outfit.
Learn from her. Dress to provoke and to startle this Halloween. It is, after all, the reason for the season.
Transform into one of The Tethered from Jordan Peele’s horror masterpiece Us by picking up a Pluto costume, or by simply donning a spicy red jumpsuit and toting along your favourite pair of scissors (plastic, for safety).
Human snack food
Do as Katy Perry did in 2014 and transform yourself into a walking Cheeto. Nothing says ‘look at me, but do not objectify me’ like an oversized crisp costume.
Try a more UK junk food like a Hobnob, wine gum or scotch egg, or simply pop on this basic chip costume.
The 80s pop singer
Nobody loves 80s nostalgia more than the people who were barely alive for it: millennials. Ladies, dress like an 80s male pop singer this Halloween.
Pencilling or adhering a moustache above your lip apparently isn’t considered particularly lust-worthy, nor is powdering on some stubble, so it’s a surefire way to avoid looking hot.
Channel David Bowie with this goblin king Labyrinth costume, or get your Bohemian Rhapsody on with an iconic Freddie lewk or saunter your way to success with this pretty-in-purple Prince outfit. You’ll feel fabulous and get fewer creepy comments than usual.
The Timothée Chalamet puppet
When a £96,909 26-inch tall recreation of an Oscar-nominated actor Timothée Chalamet hit eBay, we know we hadn’t seen the last of this artistic vision. Recreate one of the biggest internet moments of 2019 by donning a red-carpet-ready man harness and pencilling ventriloquist lines onto your chin.
Midsommar May Queen
Channel Midsommar, one of the most unsettling flicks of the year, without breaking the bank.
Simply pop on a full-length linen frock and rummage around in your neighbour’s shrub to assemble a wild floral crown fit for a May Queen but definitely not fit for Instagram.
A moistened Goofy
me when i was 10 pretending i was dead in the pool to see if anyone would care pic.twitter.com/ejSCli9wIR
— monty (@cumrascal) May 26, 2019
Take cues from one of the most existentially poignant memes of the year by wriggling into a princely Goofy costume and then dousing yourself in water.
Judi Dench in Cats the motion picture
Get even scarier. Why go as Anne Hathaway’s sexy Catwoman when you can dress as one of the warped-by-CGI cast members in the motion picture reimagining of Cats?
Mysterious yellow blob with ‘720 sexes’
Opt for a natural look by styling yourself as the unicellular blob recently put on display at Paris Zoological Park. You might have several hundred sexes, but that won’t make you sexy.
The sleeping bag dress
Kimmy K did it, and so did Pharell. Now, it’s up to you. All you’ll need are a few camping essentials to drape over your chassis. For additional reference shots, here’s hiker-extraordinaire Pattie Gonia’s hot take on the look.
The CCTV alien boi
a lady posted this and said she saw this on her home camera this morning. what y’all think this is ? pic.twitter.com/L98wckn6bO
— jey bee . 👑 (@jadynbee_) June 7, 2019
Go about your business with a vaguely-Dobby aura this Halloween. Bonus points if you can recreate the bouncy little strut.
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source https://metro.co.uk/2019/10/29/an-easy-guide-to-non-sexy-halloween-costumes-10989142/
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